Fake Celebrity Email Theater (Twitter Edition)

posted by EC Stace

Rob’s Adventures at Comic-Con

I am praying for better hair this year.

I get it, we’ve disappeared. I apologize, but seriously it has been a busy time for us both. To make it up to those of you still reading our crazy…here’s a fake celebrity email theater for you to enjoy.

Disclaimer: You know this isn’t real, right? You must know that they can’t actually act this way. At least, I hope not. 

MCROBBASE: Ian, mate, what are you doing?

VAMPSDONTSPARKLE: In a panel. Go away!

VAMPSDONTSPARKLE: Paul says hi. 

MCROBBASE: Paul, how’s the panel? I am bored. They won’t let me drink a beer.

ROMANTICSTEFAN: Its 10:30 in the morning! Have an orange juice. Nina and I are playing rock, paper, scissors. They are only talking to Ian about 50 Shades of Grey anyway.

MCROBBASE: The movie based on my life? I saw pictures of me and the book in some magazines. I wonder why they called it 50 Shades of Grey?  I am a colorful bloke. There was this one time when Tom and I got ahold of some grey paint, but it was only to paint a rocking chair.

VAMPSDONTSPARKLE: Idiot.

ROMANTICSTEFAN: It’s a porn book based on Twilight fanfiction, Rob! My wife likes to read it aloud. It scares me.

VAMPSDONTSPARKLE: You are an idiot too, Paul.

MCROBBASE: This is brilliant! You want to be like me…or Edward.

VAMPSDONTSPARKLE: I certainly do not want to be a sparkly, pent up, virgin vampire. I think infusing some Damon in that flick would help. Plus, I am good with nudity.

MCROBBASE: I think Michael Fassbender would be a great choice if nudity should be taken in consideration.

ROMANTICSTEFAN: I second that motion.

VAMPSDONTSPARKLE: I hate you both.

MCROBBASE: I think you could be good too, Alex.

SWEDEVAMP: How did you get this number? I told my agent to make it unlisted.

VAMPSDOITBIGGERINTEXAS: Does anyone have any diapers? Little guy did a poopy.

VAMPSDONTSPARKLE: Kill me now.

MCROBBASE: I have some in my bag for Tom and Sienna’s little one. I babysit on Thursdays. What size do you need, Jackson?

TEENWOLF: Hey guys. Why don’t you ever text me?

VAMPSDONTSPARKLE: What’s up, baby lover?

TEENWOLF: Oh, come on!

Don’t you wish THAT happened at Comic Con?

Come Support The Amazing Team Seth!

Posted by EC Stacey

We adore Team Seth! She has not only brightened our blog (she’s our Dr. Who expert!), but has been a friend of the brilliant Letters to Twilight, too! (www.letterstotwilight.com) You already knew she was an amazing writer, but also a fabulous author. Let’s all support her tomorrow evening!

On Thursday June 14th at 6:00pm PDT Lorena Gay will be interviewed by Australian author Fiona Leonard on Twitter about her new book On the Cusp of the Earth; a gripping story of a young engineer with a dark past she wants to forget and a mysterious coworker she can’t help but feel attracted to. While on a business trip together to Russia, war is declared with the United States and they are forced to flee the country amidst the newfound chaos, discovering along the way that the other is hiding something, but neither is quite sure what.

Lorena entered the Indie Publishing arena by serializing her novel and has some great insights about this new publishing channel. Find out about her experiences, her novel and plans for the future when she talks with Fiona on Thursday.

The interview will be conducted via a tweet chat. To follow, simply go to tweetchat.com, log in with your twitter account, and type in the hashtag #lorenachat.

You can follow the interview live on tweetchat or by following @fionajleonard or @lorenagay

“The ‘Hunger’ Games”

If it’s called the HUNGER Games, why is Peeta named after a delicious flat bread? Is it paying homage to his baker father?

I would have named him, “Grumbling Belly.” That makes him sound Native American. Hmmm, sure, I’d make him Native American, Quileute of course.

Pita vs. Peeta, what’s a few vowels?

I’m even gently singed, like the snack!

And don’t get me started on CINNA

vs:

Shake your Bon Bon, Cinna! #TimelyRickyMartinreferenceFTW

Sweet and delicious.

What’s next? President Gyro?

The MockingJay is minE!

A Team Seth Celebrity Twitter Interview…

posted by EC Stacey

It has been a long time…WC Stacey and I realize this and are hanging our heads in shame! Yet, we bring good news…at least I do! I’m reading and I am going to review the new Sookie Stackhouse book for you! I am almost almost caught up on Vampire Diaries, so we can have an end of season recap powwow. Also…True Blood is next month! Yay!

This guy does Twitter interviews with Team Seth, which means he’s awesome!

What is even better than that you might be asking? Team Seth has graciously interviewed a new Vampire from Breaking Dawn 2 for us. Or like a lovingly call it Breaking Dawn 2: Hey who the heck is that guy? And that guy? Wait was she in the book?

(Note: I drafted this last night and when I checked Letters To Twilight (www.letterstotwilight.com)  this morning, they had something on Guri, too!!! It’s a Guri Weinberg Super Friday! Who would ever thought that would ever happen. I didn’t.)

Now here’s Team Seth… 

Another day, another twitter interview with a supe character! After months and months of mistimings and me forgetting entirely about this interview, I finally nailed down Guri Weinberg for a 10 Impertinent Questions twitter interview. Guri, if you didn’t know, plays Stefan in Breaking Dawn pt2. Stefan is one of the Romanian vamps who got thwarted by the Volturi out of ruling office some centuries/millennium ago (I don’t remember exact dates). They’re super old and super pissy and have a great dry humor in the books. We’ll see what happens in the film. I always felt Guri was WAY TOO YOUNG for the role, but it turns out he’s the same age as my husband (born 1972). He looks way younger than he is. (I just realized I was just about to get married last time we did a 10 Impertinent Questions post! How exciting. That all went well.)

If you don’t follow Guri on twitter, you probably should. He’s basically never on, but when he is, the world stops spinning just so that you can spend his one allotted hour of tweet time chatting him until he gets pulled away by “life” (aka Tammy, his wife) or is shoved into “twitter jail” for tweeting too frequently. He’s a helluva fast tweeter! It’s the best hour of your day, I promise. You’ll leave feeling giddy and wanting to drink and giggle.

Hey Team Edward, Rob doesn’t do twitter interviews (or knows how to use the twitter), but Guri does! Team Stefan! (But not Team Stefan Salvatore)

Guri also runs a blog that he basically never updates, but is amazingly well-written, poignant, and hilarious. He runs a charity, GFYS4Charity, which you can read about the whole GFYS thing in his blog (http://guriweinberg.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=108:gfys&catid=46:blog ) and it’ll link to all the charity sites there. I mention this because, well, charities should be mentioned, but also because it’s part of the interview. So, without further ado, I give you two photos of Guri and our 10 Impertinent Questions interview.  Enjoy!

Fake Celebrity Theater ( Twilight Character Edition):

posted by EC Stacey

A Girl and Her Very Large Dog. Bet He Eats a Lot of Kibble.

Bella Swan Never Needed a Pet Fish…She Had a Gigantic Dog Named Jacob Black

Long time, no see dear readers! While WC Stace has been busy with work, I’ve been raising a new baby of the furry variety. My life has now been reduced to cleaning up excrement, being a human chew toy and taking a million walks to try to tire out my new floppy eared friend! Now wonder, I have no time to concentrate on Vampire Diaries or Being Human! I do like to watch Breaking Dawn on my IPod, while half asleep. I know you say to yourself…EC what are you drinking?!? (Gin & Tonics, kids.) Let me explain, I have an irrational love for the Twilight movies. I love them and also love to make fun of them. It’s a vicious cycle and really I don’t want to think late at night. Twilight is thinking free. Except that it did, in fact, make me think about Bella and Jacob’s relationship. How Bella is the owner and Jacob is her pet with his tail a wiggling… So here he we go…

What a Cute Puppy! Don't Just Want to Scratch Behind His Little Puppy Ears?

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyers loves Jacob…She would never, ever making him do this stuff! But I certainly will.

I Really Didn't Mean Stick My Whole Head Into The Popcorn Bag, Bella!

Scene 1: Dinner Time at The Swan’s

Bella: (Mumbling and biting her lip) Jake…why…you aren’t using your fork?

Jacob: So good, Bells… (Grabs a hadful of mashed potatoes and flings it onto his plate.

Charlie: Son, you don’t need lick your plate. Billy needs to teach that boy some manners.

Jacob: Mmmhh…good…mmmhh…

Bella: (More mumbles) That’s…ugh…Jake…gross.

Jake...can you...stop...slobbering on me? I'm soaked!

Scene 2: Jacob and Bella on the Mountainside.

Boundries, Bells? A dog...I mean...a MAN has urges.

Jacob: Bella Swan, I love you more then anything else. I am your sun.

Bella: (More mumbling and more lip biting) Jake…ugh…I love…you know…Edward.

Jacob: But baby…

Bella: (Finally NOT mumbling) What are you doing?!?

Jacob: What are you talking about ?

Bella: Oh my gosh, you’re humping my leg!

(This is where Bella attempts to punch Jacob and breaks her hand. Which then makes Jacob try to lick her face in comfort and ultimately sends our old buddy, Edward into self loathing hysterics.)

You...ugh...seriously, Jake...my shoes?

Scene 3: Bella’s Bedroom

Bella: (Mumbling and lip biting. Again. Seriously, I hope the girl has cases of lip balm, because around her mouth is going to be all red and nasty.) What are you doing in my room?

Jacob: I thought you were out with Ed?

Bella: I was…wait a minute…are you chewing my shoes? Those are my Converse!

Jacob: It’s not what it looks like…

Bella: Is this because I was with Edward?

Jacob: Listen, Bell…

Bella: You could have at least ate those death traps Alice bought me! What’s wrong with you?!? (Hits Jacob over the head with chewed up sneaker.)

Isabella, we've discussed this before. If you are going to have a pet, you need to make him urinate in the proper location.

Scene 4: Outside of the Cullen Homestead

Edward: Listen, Black…stay away from Bella. You chewed up her favorite shoes, tried to have relations with her leg and not to mention your terrible table manners. I have had enough and have to take a stand!

Bella: (The mumbling is back.) Edward…He doesn’t mean to…Jake… Edward is trying to…ugh…say…

Jacob: Back off, Dead Boy! You just make me so mad…

Edward: Did you just urinate?

Jacob: Umm…I…aahhh…

Bella: (Oh lord, she’s lip biting again.) Jake…I…you are a little wet…on…you know…your front…

Jacob: (Now HE’S mumbling.) I got a little excited.

Edward: Emmett can lend you some slacks. I am far to trim and svelte for you to fit in a pair of mine.

Emmett: (Yelling) Maybe, we need to get him a ltter box! Damn…that’s wrong…that would be for a cat. Hey dude, you like FuBu?

THIS guy is definitely a cat person.

And Scene. I need to watch Vampire Diaries or something classy like Dowton Abbey. My mind is going downhill quickly!

I’m so lost I need mapquest

posted by snowwhitedrifted (West Coast Stacey/ SWD)

I haven’t read anything in forever. I started a Gabaldon book in, wait for it… November and I’m only a 1/4 of the way through. And it’s a brand new Jamie book. But our art hard drive died and I renamed the new one “Claire” cuz if she can find her way back and forth through time, she sure isn’t going to loose my art libraries.

I haven’t seen Vampire Diaries since the Holidays.

I saw Breaking Dawn once. Once. Bought it, It’s still in the packaging.

I don’t even skim the Truebie posts on my FB timeline.

Being Human what?

Downtown Abbey what?

I haven’t read the Hunger Games.

I didn’t know 50 shades of Grey, was based on a certain fanfiction that I never read.

*sigh* What have I been doing???

Nothing important. Going to bed at 9 after making dinner and doing laundry. Work has been INSANELY crazy for months and I have no free time to catch up on the important Supernatural stuff! Damn you people and needing your t-shirts (kidding, fates, I don’t need to tempt you), I need my internet catch up time. Anywhooooo

We just started “Breaking Bad” last night. 3 episodes in on season 1. *sigh* I hear it’s addictive. Like the fact I can’t wait to get home, slap dinner together, bounce the kiddo to bed and settle in for some good meth drama.

#Priorities

I'm so cluess, I'm assuming she's hunting some wolfpack from one of the franchises I'm behind on.

Fake Celebrity (non) Email Theater Presents…

posted by EC Stacey

Can Only Imagine ALL The Possibilities!

Three Men and A Baby, Twilight Edition

To make up for being a complete and total slacker, I decided it was about time to give you all another edition of Fake Celebrity Email Theater without the pesky emails. Obviously, Jackson Rathbone breeding has been a bizarre inspiration. Think of it as a really bad version of the classic movie, Three Men and a Baby. The difference is that in this version, Kellan Lutz is taking the role of Tom Selleck. Robert Pattinson is that rascally Ted Danson. Finally, the daddy to be, Jackson is the quirky Steve Guttenberg. (Nobody does wacky like Jackson.)

DISCLAIMER: I bet Jackson is going to be a terrific dad. (Hopefully) We are only teasing. Also, if you honestly think any of this is happening, then you have the ability to read a magic crystal ball. Which I don’t so this is…PRETEND! Just giving you a heads up.

Scene 1: Diaper Duty

Don't worry Baby Jackson, we can pray for those chain smoking sinners at Sunday School.

Kellan: You can’t smoke around a baby!
Rob: Bloody hell, Kellan it calms her/him. The smoke makes her/him giggle.
Jackson: I think it’s just gas. My kid can make a stink. Damn.
Kellan: Could you two please watch the language. A dollar each in the swear jar!
Jackson/Rob: Shit!
Kellan: That will be two dollars each, you heathens!

Scene 2: Rock A Bye or Yo Gabba Banana

A Future Children's Musical Classic

Kellan: Let’s sing her to sleep.
Rob: Mate, you sound like a dying cow. I’ll sing her/him my song from the Twilight soundtrack.
Jackson: Are you delusional? My baby doesn’t want to hear that!
Rob: How To Be soundtrack?
Jackson: Shoot me now.
Rob: It was a bestseller in the U.K.!
Jackson: Sure it was. *snicker* How about I sing the 100 Monkeys’ song, I did on Yo Gabba Gabba?
Kellan: Dude, the didn’t air it because the guitar solo was an hour long.
Jackson: They have no taste! The 100 Monkey’s children’s album is going to be huge!
Rob: A huge disappointment to small children’s eardrums. Only Twimoms are going to buy it. For themselves.
Jackson: You mean your target audience.
Kellan: Let’s not fight, boys! Nikki sent us the children’s album she did with her husband.
Jackson and Rob: NOOOOO!!!!!

Just What My Kids Will Want For Christmas

Scene 3: Babysitter’s Club

Ashley Greene: Babysitting Professional

Ashley: I would love to watch your little one, Jack!
Jackson: Can you change a diaper?
Ashley: Yes.
Jackson: Can you fix a bottle?
Ashley: Of course!
Jackson: Are you going to try to sneak in Gerard Butler or a Jonas Brother?
Ashley: Well…
Jackson: I’m hiring Kristen Stewart.
Ashley: You’ve got to be kidding me!

Scene 4: Playdate Union Jack Edition

It's quite simple, Rob. Babies are like dogs! You open the door and let them poop in the yard.

Rob: Hey Jackson, Tom is bringing over his bundle of joy for a playdate.
Jackson: Really? Get out the poker chips and beer!
Rob: Henekin for everybody!
Kellan: What’s going on here?
Rob: Playdate with Sturridge’s kid.
Kellan: Did he shave the beard? It scares the babies.
Jackson: Let me just add a little more gel to Junior’s head. His/her bouffant isn’t high enough.
Kellan: You don’t out hair gel on babies! Rob! Put away those shot glasses right now!
Rob: Come on, Kellan! Let’s have a little fun!
Kellan: That’s it! Tom Sturridge and his offspring can’t play anymore. They are bad examples!

Scene 5: What The Real Movie Will Look Like

Another Blockbuster!