Archive for Edward Cullen

Fake Celebrity Email Theater (Twitter Edition)

Posted in Comic Con, Fake Celebrity Stuff, Fake Tweets, True Blood, Twilight, Uncategorized, Vampire Diaries with tags , , , , , , , , , on July 12, 2012 by talksupe
posted by EC Stace

Rob’s Adventures at Comic-Con

I am praying for better hair this year.

I get it, we’ve disappeared. I apologize, but seriously it has been a busy time for us both. To make it up to those of you still reading our crazy…here’s a fake celebrity email theater for you to enjoy.

Disclaimer: You know this isn’t real, right? You must know that they can’t actually act this way. At least, I hope not. 

MCROBBASE: Ian, mate, what are you doing?

VAMPSDONTSPARKLE: In a panel. Go away!

VAMPSDONTSPARKLE: Paul says hi. 

MCROBBASE: Paul, how’s the panel? I am bored. They won’t let me drink a beer.

ROMANTICSTEFAN: Its 10:30 in the morning! Have an orange juice. Nina and I are playing rock, paper, scissors. They are only talking to Ian about 50 Shades of Grey anyway.

MCROBBASE: The movie based on my life? I saw pictures of me and the book in some magazines. I wonder why they called it 50 Shades of Grey?  I am a colorful bloke. There was this one time when Tom and I got ahold of some grey paint, but it was only to paint a rocking chair.

VAMPSDONTSPARKLE: Idiot.

ROMANTICSTEFAN: It’s a porn book based on Twilight fanfiction, Rob! My wife likes to read it aloud. It scares me.

VAMPSDONTSPARKLE: You are an idiot too, Paul.

MCROBBASE: This is brilliant! You want to be like me…or Edward.

VAMPSDONTSPARKLE: I certainly do not want to be a sparkly, pent up, virgin vampire. I think infusing some Damon in that flick would help. Plus, I am good with nudity.

MCROBBASE: I think Michael Fassbender would be a great choice if nudity should be taken in consideration.

ROMANTICSTEFAN: I second that motion.

VAMPSDONTSPARKLE: I hate you both.

MCROBBASE: I think you could be good too, Alex.

SWEDEVAMP: How did you get this number? I told my agent to make it unlisted.

VAMPSDOITBIGGERINTEXAS: Does anyone have any diapers? Little guy did a poopy.

VAMPSDONTSPARKLE: Kill me now.

MCROBBASE: I have some in my bag for Tom and Sienna’s little one. I babysit on Thursdays. What size do you need, Jackson?

TEENWOLF: Hey guys. Why don’t you ever text me?

VAMPSDONTSPARKLE: What’s up, baby lover?

TEENWOLF: Oh, come on!

Don’t you wish THAT happened at Comic Con?

Fake Celebrity Theater ( Twilight Character Edition):

Posted in Fake, Fake Celebrity Stuff, Twilight, Uncategorized with tags , , , on March 30, 2012 by talksupe
posted by EC Stacey

A Girl and Her Very Large Dog. Bet He Eats a Lot of Kibble.

Bella Swan Never Needed a Pet Fish…She Had a Gigantic Dog Named Jacob Black

Long time, no see dear readers! While WC Stace has been busy with work, I’ve been raising a new baby of the furry variety. My life has now been reduced to cleaning up excrement, being a human chew toy and taking a million walks to try to tire out my new floppy eared friend! Now wonder, I have no time to concentrate on Vampire Diaries or Being Human! I do like to watch Breaking Dawn on my IPod, while half asleep. I know you say to yourself…EC what are you drinking?!? (Gin & Tonics, kids.) Let me explain, I have an irrational love for the Twilight movies. I love them and also love to make fun of them. It’s a vicious cycle and really I don’t want to think late at night. Twilight is thinking free. Except that it did, in fact, make me think about Bella and Jacob’s relationship. How Bella is the owner and Jacob is her pet with his tail a wiggling… So here he we go…

What a Cute Puppy! Don't Just Want to Scratch Behind His Little Puppy Ears?

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyers loves Jacob…She would never, ever making him do this stuff! But I certainly will.

I Really Didn't Mean Stick My Whole Head Into The Popcorn Bag, Bella!

Scene 1: Dinner Time at The Swan’s

Bella: (Mumbling and biting her lip) Jake…why…you aren’t using your fork?

Jacob: So good, Bells… (Grabs a hadful of mashed potatoes and flings it onto his plate.

Charlie: Son, you don’t need lick your plate. Billy needs to teach that boy some manners.

Jacob: Mmmhh…good…mmmhh…

Bella: (More mumbles) That’s…ugh…Jake…gross.

Jake...can you...stop...slobbering on me? I'm soaked!

Scene 2: Jacob and Bella on the Mountainside.

Boundries, Bells? A dog...I mean...a MAN has urges.

Jacob: Bella Swan, I love you more then anything else. I am your sun.

Bella: (More mumbling and more lip biting) Jake…ugh…I love…you know…Edward.

Jacob: But baby…

Bella: (Finally NOT mumbling) What are you doing?!?

Jacob: What are you talking about ?

Bella: Oh my gosh, you’re humping my leg!

(This is where Bella attempts to punch Jacob and breaks her hand. Which then makes Jacob try to lick her face in comfort and ultimately sends our old buddy, Edward into self loathing hysterics.)

You...ugh...seriously, Jake...my shoes?

Scene 3: Bella’s Bedroom

Bella: (Mumbling and lip biting. Again. Seriously, I hope the girl has cases of lip balm, because around her mouth is going to be all red and nasty.) What are you doing in my room?

Jacob: I thought you were out with Ed?

Bella: I was…wait a minute…are you chewing my shoes? Those are my Converse!

Jacob: It’s not what it looks like…

Bella: Is this because I was with Edward?

Jacob: Listen, Bell…

Bella: You could have at least ate those death traps Alice bought me! What’s wrong with you?!? (Hits Jacob over the head with chewed up sneaker.)

Isabella, we've discussed this before. If you are going to have a pet, you need to make him urinate in the proper location.

Scene 4: Outside of the Cullen Homestead

Edward: Listen, Black…stay away from Bella. You chewed up her favorite shoes, tried to have relations with her leg and not to mention your terrible table manners. I have had enough and have to take a stand!

Bella: (The mumbling is back.) Edward…He doesn’t mean to…Jake… Edward is trying to…ugh…say…

Jacob: Back off, Dead Boy! You just make me so mad…

Edward: Did you just urinate?

Jacob: Umm…I…aahhh…

Bella: (Oh lord, she’s lip biting again.) Jake…I…you are a little wet…on…you know…your front…

Jacob: (Now HE’S mumbling.) I got a little excited.

Edward: Emmett can lend you some slacks. I am far to trim and svelte for you to fit in a pair of mine.

Emmett: (Yelling) Maybe, we need to get him a ltter box! Damn…that’s wrong…that would be for a cat. Hey dude, you like FuBu?

THIS guy is definitely a cat person.

And Scene. I need to watch Vampire Diaries or something classy like Dowton Abbey. My mind is going downhill quickly!

I Hope You Had A Lovely Thanksgiving or…

Posted in Breaking Dawn, Movie Reviews, Pattinson Ponderings, Twilight with tags , , on December 1, 2011 by talksupe
posted by EC Stacey

Happy times...before Edward uses teeth

I Finally Saw Breaking Dawn…With Very Pregnant Ladies

*Spoilers. Of course, you are reading something about Breaking Dawn which means you’ve read it before and know what happens already without seeing the movie. HOWEVER, that book is enormous and I fell asleep twice while reading it. You might have forgotten the C-Section. Who am I kidding, that was the best part. 

First an apology from me (and most likely WC), I am sorry that we haven’t been as chatty lately. Let’s just say that consuming large amounts of turkey and decorating for Christmas it’s been busy at my house. Trust me when I say that to untangle Christmas lights to twist around tasteful garland for the staircase took me a hour. It was only one strand. My inner Martha Stewart is on overdrive and it’s only going to get worse when the Christmas cookies start being baked. So much worse, I promise you.  

To get myself back into blogging and ultimately annoying you with my thoughts on entertainment, I want to give you a little taste of when I saw Twilight: Breaking Dawn, Part One. I want to wait to give my complete thoughts on the flick with WC, but I thought you might be interested in a very interesting observation I made when seeing the film with some dear friends. Two of which who were VERY pregnant.  This is what happened…

Umm...really Bella? There's a baby in that tiny stomach? I might hate you.

After a lovely dinner at an Irish Pub, three friends of mine went along with me to see the movie. Two of which, J and L who are pregnant and K (like me) not at all. (See how I just have letters for their names? It’s a We Read or Watch Twilight Protection Device. You want to admit it, but you are slightly ashamed to say it to others. Like my sister did, when she refused to ask the artsy theater if they were playing it, because while it said they were online it wasn’t on the marquee. Keeping the street cred! So thanks Feat Lil J for outting her on that one. Glad you girls had fun at the wine bar instead.)   Now if you read the book, like J, K and myself you know the birth is umm…graphic. Sadly, L had no clue. Like zero. You see L never had an interest in reading the books or seeing the movies, but she did want to escape from the kids for a night before the newest bundle of joy arrived. Maybe, I should have warned her. Oh never mind, what would have been the fun in that!

Are seating arrangements were interesting. J must have won the coin toss, because she didn’t have to sit next to me.Poor J and K had experienced my crazy at Robert Pattinson movies before at Eclipse and Water for Elephants. Many comments would distract them from their viewing enjoyment like, “Looking good. Pretty Pattinson.” “Mmmph.” “Why is he doing that thing with his mouth? Does he have a piece of food in his teeth and needs to get it out? That’s not attractive!” Or the ever popular,”What the h*ll! They made him look like a freakin’ corpse.”  I am not fun to sit next to. At least L thinks I’m funny or at least when she wasn’t texting her hubby a play by play of the movie. Which I, in turn, found funny.

Look it's Emm...no it's not. Ugh! Not enough Emmett and his inappropriate pregnancy comments in this flick!

That was until the big old birthing that demon baby. At this point, J knowing the story, was taking Bella in stride. Even though pregnant she was prepared for these developments. K just made some grimicing faces, she knew the deal even though seeing it was different from reading it. But dear L grabbed my arm. This was when her eyes got really big and she asked, “They are really showing this?” I laughed, because after sippy cup o’blood she shouldn’t have been surprised. Then Edward happened. 

L: Were those his teeth?”
EC: Teeth Cesarean!! (Me erupting into inappropriate giggles.)

Then this exchange.

EC: Is the baby kicking?
L: Yes! She’s moving around a lot!
EC: Your baby loves the demon baby! Just wait until Jacob imprints on it! (giggling)
L: What?!?

Somebody needs her 'Sippy Cup'

You might be wondering, has Breaking Dawn completely turned L off from the previous books and movies? No way, she’s going to borrow mine and start reading them! Good job, Director of Dream Girls you just converted the newest Ashamed TwiMom. (You should probably feel a little bad about that, Bill.)  

At least he was nice at some point during her pregnancy. Well until you know...teeth.

By the way…as a transplanted Maryland girl, why the heck is Pattinson running around wearing a Baltimore Orioles hat? Does he know that’s what that giant ‘O’ means? Does he know that the don’t win very much? Is he a Cal Ripkin fan? Ugh, this is going to bother me for at least a day.  

Does he even know what the 'O' means?

 

Whoa! He has ANOTHER one?!? There has to be a wildly inaccurate and goofy Celebrity Email Theater written about this!

Team Jacob Edward Pulls A David Letterman…

Posted in Letters to Twilight, Team Jacob Edward's Thought, Twilight, Uncategorized, Vampires with tags , on November 16, 2011 by talksupe
posted by EC Stacey
This what Team Jacob Edward is Looking For…oh and Feathers

The Top Ten Reasons TJE’s Excited About Breaking Dawn

We love when Team Jacob Edward writes to us and we were so happy to get her letter! Lets’s see just how excited she really is!

What I’m excited about Breaking Dawn

I don’t know about you, but for me it feels like it has been an ETERNITY that I’ve been waiting for Breaking Dawn (Part I) to come out, and when it comes to vampires, an eternity is a very freaking long time!  And finally, finally the day is upon us.

But it got me thinking; why exactly am I excited for Breaking Dawn – PI?  Let’s count them down, shall we?

 10.  Bad hair day… or I guess, eternity

No.  I’m not really looking forward to the bad hair per se, but really Twilight movies and bad hair/wigs kind of seems like it needs to go together:  Edward’s bouffant (which actually, I really kind of miss) and Jacob’s black mop of a wig in Twilight.  Jacob’s mop hair Part II and Jasper’s Poodle ‘do extraordinaire in New Moon.  Alice’s soccer mom hair (minus the grad party) and Jacob’s—I mean, Bella’s mop wig in Eclipse.

 I mean, isn’t part of the fun finding things to gigglecringe* about?  I kind of think so, don’t you, Spider monkey? (EC: You had me at “Spider monkey”)

*Yes, gigglecringe, I know it’s not a real word.  I make up words and use them as if they’re real because I’m odd cool like that.

And from the stills and previews I’ve seen, it appears that Carlisle wins the Bad Hair Eternity metal for BD.  I’m wondering if the Summit Nieces Collective just realized that he hadn’t had a horrid hair moment in the films, and they feel it’s important that all the main characters have horrendous hair at one point or another through the films.  It’s just Carlisle’s turn, I guess.

It's just so bad... That hair goes horribly with a jaunty scarf!

9.  It’s our one last Twilight movie that we can enjoy in peace before the world flogs us all and the Twilight fandom ends up being the butt of many (more) jokes on Tosh.0

Personally some of us (EC) can't WAIT for the TOSH.O jokes. (I really don't want to find him as funny as I do, but I can't help it)

Honestly, when I read the series, I didn’t have one shred of icky feelings about Jake’s imprinting on Renesmee.  Stephenie did an amazing job explaining the whole imprinting thing and softened the blow before Jake imprinted on Nessie with Quil and Clair in Eclipse.  We already knew, there wasn’t anything gross or horrendous about it, so when I read the end of Jacob’s book in Breaking Dawn, my reaction was something like, “Oh my God!  Jake imprinted on Renesmee!” not, “Ugh, that’s (fill in the blank with whatever repulsive adjective you’d prefer)”

You get the point. 

Honestly, I think the whole Jacob imprinting on Nessie isn’t going to be in BD-P1 (seriously, it’s a frick’n long title, I had to abbreviate).  I think that this is our last chance to enjoy a Twilight movie in peace (well, other than the harmless heckling we let roll off our backs).  And I am fully bracing myself for next year when I’m quite certain that the sh*t is going to hit the fan and we’ll be all stoned to death.  Okay, probably not stoned to death, but the ridicule will be fierce for us… and then there’s poor Taylor who will never live it down. (EC: You know, poor Taylor is going to have to hold the demon baby and look longingly at it, with a single tear running down his chiseled (yet still baby) face)

8.  Alice’s clothes

"Will Alice have cool clothes? Magic 8-Ball Says..."Be Afraid, be very Afraid"

I will be the first to admit, I am nothing close to a fashionista.  I never had the knack some have to look fantabulous all the time even if they aren’t swathed in designer items head-to-toe.  I’ve always envied those people and tried to take cues from them but never was blessed with that gift.  Alice is supposed to be blessed with said gift and unlimited funds to quite literally swathe herself in the hottest, most cutting edge fashion out there… and she just… doesn’t in the movies.

Actually, I thought Alice looked her best in Twilight.  To me, she looked the closest to what I remember Bella describing the Cullens in the books.  It was something along the lines of; “their clothes were simple and understated but hinted at designer origins.”  (I’m reciting from memory so it was something like that, anyway.)  The Twilight movie seemed to have done that for our favorite local vampire family even without actually going all out designer.  When New Moon came, I was confused because I’d remembered reading somewhere that the costume department was going to be using actual designer clothes this time instead of knockoffs. Like I’d said I’m not a fashionista, nor do I pretend to be, but I don’t know what designer put together New Moon Alice’s ensemble.

Therefore, I’m looking forward to seeing what she wears in Breaking Dawn; if she looks cute and adorable, or if she’s Navaho designed smocks that resemble fancy bur lack sacks.

7.   The resurrection of Buttcrack Santa*

What?  That’s not going to happen?!?  Dammit!  I was so stoked too!  -kicks imaginary rock-

*If you don’t’ know who Buttcrack Santa is, hop over to LTT’s old site (www.letterstotwilight.wordpress.com) and you’ll find the history of Buttcrack Santa there. 

May he rest in peace.

Okay fine, the real #7…

7.  Shirtless Jacob

I don't care how old he is... he will always be jailbait to me.

While I am unswervingly loyal to my Team Edward status, little Robbie boy doesn’t have the ah-may-zing rock hard, buff build that our lovely Taylor does from those meat patties… though according to that window sill busting shot, Rob’s been working out which I’m forever thankful for. (Sends praises to the gods.)

Rock hard abs are completely overrated.

I was going to say, I was looking forward to “Shirtless Wolf boys” but it seems that Taylor is the only one who’s really committed to giving us the drool-worthy body.  I think the SNL skit where Taylor dressed in a Team Edward shirt and a mini-skirt (AWESOME) said it best, “I was like YES!  I want to bake cookies on your stomach.”

Check it out:  http://www.hulu.com/watch/114945/saturday-night-live-lab-partners

So while I’m a diehard Team Edward girl, it doesn’t mean I can appreciate Jacob.  I’m devoted not dead. (EC: So disappointed in you right now. tsk tsk.)

6.  The Denali hoochie mamas vampires

You know Mike Newton was so about to try to hit that...and that...and that

Yes, that’s right.  I want to see the Denali girls; specifically, Tanya.  Sure, I’ve seen pictures the chick that’s playing Tanya, but I want to see her as Tanya.  I want to see her blatantly flirt with Edward and have Edward smile that crooked smile and walk away with Bella on his arm.

Take that you little succubus!   I’m Bella’s going to turn Edward into an incubus that bites pillows and busts up headboards.  Ha!

Hmmm – or maybe seeing Tanya put doubt in Bella that maybe she and Edward had a history.  That could be fun too.

5.  Having the day off

While this isn’t exactly about Breaking Dawn itself, it is something I’m very much looking forward to.  Yes boys and girls, this will be my FOURTH day of vacation that I have judiciously spent in order to watch the first showing of the Twilight movies the day they come out… well, negating the midnight showing.  (I have also used vacation days to watch Water for Elephants, Remember Me, Harry Potter… it’s kind of my thing.)

Every year, one of my best RL friends and I take the day off of work so we could go to the first showing opening day.  Well, except New Moon where I went with someone else because she ended up having an emergency c-section 6 weeks before her due date, the day New Moon was released… the poor woman was so ticked off listening to the nurses, who were prepping her, talking about how they were going to see New Moon that night.  She flashed a look to her husband that she wanted them to shut up because it was bad enough she was missing it, but them talking about it was like getting it rubbed in her face. 

Anyway, we do this because having the day off work rocks, but also, the theater attendance at 10 am on a weekday is very low, including no tweeners that don’t know how to stop squealing when Jacob disrobes every 2 minutes.  (My second time watching New Moon was with my sisters and realized those girls really never stop squealing.)  Then after we watch the movie we go to lunch and rehash what we liked and didn’t like.  It’s a blast.  I’d highly recommend it.  Besides, be honest, you’re not going to get anything at work accomplished the day the movie comes out because you’ll be too busy thinking about how long you have until you can get out of there to watch the movie.

4.  New fodder

Twilight was the best for fun fodder:

 “Hold on tight Spidermonkey.”  “Kids love those little bottles.”  “Purple’s cool”  “Hey Arizona, how you likin’ the rain, girl?” and on, and on…

And while I doubt we’ll come away with the epicness that Twilight had provided for giggleable lines, I have high hopes for something good… in a good way, not cringe worthy, hide my face way.

3.  Getting answers to unanswered questions

Like, what the eff Aro was so pissed about in the preview clip I’d seen.  Was I the only one who watched that one preview where Aro throws the chick I can only assume is Heidi or some other Volturri vamp across the turret?  I was so confused. (EC: That was NOT in the book! I checked. There WAS lots of  Jacob running in the woods. yawn.)

Or why exactly UC & Moon from LTT loved.  Like, LOVED BD – P1 when they saw it on Monday because those lucky girls got to not only see the likes of the Twilight cast and crew in the flesh, they got to see the movie.  #jealous.

2.  Vampire Cesarean

Good ol’ Bill Condon (seriously, I see “condom” every time I read his name) promised sex, blood and feathers and I’m looking forward to it.

Enough said. (EC: The best part of Breaking Dawn. It not only becomes a ‘horror’ book, but Edward finally stops his whining enough for the most creative way to perform a c-section EVER!)

1.  Feathers, Busted Headboards and Bruises, oh my!

Was there really anything else you were expecting for my number 1?  As far as I’m concerned it’s just like Edward said in Twilight, “There is no other option!”

I do realize we will end up with a “Fade to Sad” and as much as I really would have wanted an R rated sex scene, I know it’s not going to happen.  But if the clip of Robward busting up that windowsill is just some of the amazingness we’ll get, I’m stoked!

With that being said, this could all go horribly wrong.  After Twilight, Rob and Kristen got awkward around each other in front of the camera and while I’ve never seen Eyes Wide Shut, I heard Tom and Nicole’s sex scene was AW-KWARD.  I’m kind of afraid that will happen here, but I’m still crossing my fingers.

Much better angle

One last thing… I did a Top Ten because it seemed appropriate, but I do have a BONUS thing I’m looking forward to:

I finally have been able to abstain from reading the books more than 6 months before the movie (that was HARD to keep from caving to temptation).  I’m looking forward to just enjoying the movie without the book fresh in my mind to nit-pick and compare how they’re just not the same.  AND finally being able to re-visit my old friends that my kids call my Apple Book, Flower Book, Ribbon Book & Game Book.

What are you looking forward to?

❤ TeamJacobEdward

Celebrity Email Theater…Breaking Dawn Character Edition or…

Posted in Fake, Fake Celebrity Stuff, Fake Emails, Letters to Twilight, Twilight, Uncategorized with tags , , , on November 8, 2011 by talksupe
posted by EC Stacey

WHY YOU SHOULD NEVER HAVE AN OPEN BAR AT WEDDINGS

EC: One day, Letter to Twilight (www.letterstotwilight.com), which by the way if you like this blog you’ll LOVE theirs,  had a post discussing just pictures released from Breaking Dawn. Wedding pictures with Bella’s mom, Renee. You know the lady. The one who likes to pretend that she’s her daughter’s younger sister. Well that got us to thinking, what would happen if you combined Renee, an open bar and all of her cougar instincts around men who look like Grecian, marble statues? Trouble. Big trouble.

SWD: *side note* We did have an open bar at our wedding. It was Mr. Snow’s “designer silk dress”. We paid for it. It was soooo worth the 11.5 (<-we know lots of drunks) for all the candid table camera photos, stories, hook-ups, and pregnancies. And we DID have a cougar/ groomsmen sitch. #awesome

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyers created these crazy characters. We just took it to the next, disturbing (and hopefully funny) level.

Disclaimer 2: You know this isn’t real. Because, I honestly believe if you think Edward Cullen or Jacob Black are real then you might need to talk someone. A professional someone. A professional someone that can administer prescription medication. Also, you do realize vampires and werewolves aren’t at all real? Neither are zombies. That goodness for that. Those things are nasty.

Disclaimer 3: Don’t you think STAR magazine and US Weekly should put disclaimers like these on all their stories? Because, you do know the probabilities that anything written in those are real are like slim to none.

P.S. – This is dedicated to Team Seth, who actually had a beautiful wedding and no crazy Renee’s and Emmett’s

Away we go…

 
To: Brontegirl355@gmail.com
 
 
 
From: Hotmamadwyer@att.net
 
 
 
Subject: Wedding
 
Bella-
First let me say, Mama loves you. I know you are abit mad right now, but I think in a few weeks you and I can sit back and laugh. Your dad told me to leave you alone, but I told him he can kiss it. Charlie’s face turned all red and it looked like smoke was going to come out of his ears. It was hilarious. Which isn’t the reason I’m writing, just…
You know, if you think about it, it really is your fault Bella. An open bar? You know how Mama loves her wine. Not to mention, what is it with those Cullen men? Their backsides are like rocks! I just had to see if they really were so hard. You can’t blame a woman for needing to see…I should say feel. That cutie Emmett seemed to enjoy it. Then when I danced with that big piece of meat, well sweetie, I think you married the wrong brother.
 
Which reminds me, when you get back I need to have a conference call or SKYPE with you and little Alice. I wasn’t liking how Jasper was looking at Edward. He kept making weird faces. Then when I took a little feel, that boy’s face got all tight and frustrated looking. Remember when I dated that Greg when you were 8? He was a bisexual, Bella. I know these things from experience. I will bet my whole collection of Mexican decorative pottery that Alice’s boyfriend is light in the loafers. Not that there is anything wrong with that.
I know you were actually worried about Phil’s feelings! Don’t worry, sweetie! He was having a great time chatting up and I think feeling up that tall, blonde girl from Alaska. Are her boobs real? Anyway, we have an ‘open relationship’. Maybe you and Edward should look into that type of arrangement!
 
Is Bronte like the Kardashians? I just love that show!
 
Love, Renee
 
To: Hotmamadwyer@att.net 
 
 
 
From: Brontegirl355@gmail.com
 
 
 
 Subject: Wedding 
 
Mom- I can’t do this right now.
-Bella
 
To:Brontegirl355@gmail.com 
 
 
 
From: BigPimpin1009@aol.com
 
 
 
Subject: MILF email
 
Yo, lil’sis! Finally gettin’ a little something. Little being a perfect word for Ed’s tiny Ed. Hey can you send me your ma’s email? She’s the bomb! What a cougar! Actually, I am older…I’m confused. No matter! She’s going to make me a East Coast Rap mix tape! Cool lady for real!Hey, don’t tell Rose.
 
-The Notorious E! (Emmett if you couldn’t figure that out)
 
To: BigPimpin1009@aol.com 
 
 
 
 
From: PianoMan456@gmail.com
 
 
 
Subject: Cease and Desist
 
Emmett-
Leave my wife alone. Also, you may NOT have my mother-in-laws email.
 
Sincerly,
Edward M. Cullen
 
To: PianoMan456@gmail.com 
 
 
 
From: BigPimpin1009@aol.com
 
 
 
Subject: Still not getting any?
 
Still see the stick up your a…excuse me…derierre. You are delicate like a little daisy, Ed. Maybe, you should let Bella flash you her boobs. LOL!
 
-Notorious E 
P.S. Let me know if you need any ‘bedroom advice’. ;0)
 
To: Brontegirl355@gmail.com
 
 
 
From: GearGenius@aol.com
 
 
 
 
Subject: Your Mother
 
Get control of your mother, before I do. Let’s just say my way involves body parts thrown in varied locations.
 
– Rosalie Hale Cullen
 
 
To:GearGenius@aol.com
 
 
 
 
From: Brontegirl355@gmail.com
 
 
 
 Subject: Sorry
 
I am so very sorry.
-Bella
 
To: Brontegirl355@gmail.com
 
 
 
From: TXTwoStep@att.net
 
 
 
 
Subject: Your Mother
 
Isabella,
Please inform your mother that her phone calls to Alice concerning my sexual orientation are unnecessary and unwarranted. Four phone calls a day is getting obsessive and Alice keeps laughing at me. If I was ever to as your mom, so undelicately put it switch teams, I would never be interested in Edward. I am slightly offended by the idea. No offense to you, Isabella.
 
Fondly,
Jasper
 
To: BronteGirl355@gmail.com
 
 
 
From: Alicat25252@att.net
 
 
 
 
 
Subject: HA!
 
Your mother is hilarious! Jasper is all trying to be manly and open up jars of peanut butter and pickles! We don’t even eat and he bought them, just so he can show me he’s the ‘man’ in the house. It’s great!Can I please dress your mom? That WalMart fiasco she wore to the wedding turned my stomach. BTW, how’s Edward liking those bikinis I packed for you? Nevermind, I already know. ;0)
Love ya! Alice
 
To: TXTwoStep@att.net
 
 
 
 
From: PianoMan456@gmail.com 
 
 
 
Subject: My apologies
 
Jasper,
Bella and I will be taking care of the issue with her mother. Please do not worry about it any further.
Wait…what did you mean you would NEVER be interested in me. I am somewhat offended by that statement. Bella has no complaints.
 
-Edward M. Cullen
 
To: Brontegirl355@gmail.com
 
 
 
From: Photolady112@gmail.com
 
 
 
Subject: Umm…
 
Hi Bella!
I hope you are having a lovely honeymoon and I don’t want to interrupt, but before you get a rude email from Jessica…your mom was making out with Mike Newton by the chocolate fountain. I thought it would be better if you heard it from me.
Let’s get coffee and chat when you get back! I have BIG NEWS about me and Ben! 
Miss you!
Angela
 
 
To: DrCCullen@ForksGeneral.org
 
 
 
From: BronteGirl355@gmail.com
 
 
Subject: Changes
 
Dear Carlisle,
 
Edward and I request your help for the “Big Change” at the Isle Esme. Sooner is better than later. Thank you!
 
Love, Bella
 
To: Brontegirl355@gmail.com
 
 
 
From: DrCCullen@ForksGeneral.org
 
 
 
Subject: Changes?
 
Dearest Bella,
 
I thought you two were waiting until you arrived back to Forks? Is this concerning your mother’s behavior? Charlie attempted to talk some reason to her and was going to email you himself, but he doesn’t know how to email.
Maybe, I can find a nice rehab facility for your mother? Why are you and Edward rushing the “change”?
Esme sends her love to you both!
 
Love, Carlisle
 
To: DrCCullen@ForksGeneral.org
 
 
 
From: BronteGirl355@gmail.com
 
 
 
Subject: My mother
 
I’m planning on eating her.
 
Love, Bella
 
Follow us on Twitter… @talksupe

Breaking Dawn is coming…sooo…

Posted in Twilight, Uncategorized, Vampire Diaries with tags , , , , , , , , on November 7, 2011 by talksupe
posted by EC Stacey

IT’S TWO WEEKS OF TWILIGHT RIDICULOUSNESS!

It's Back...

That’s right, kids Breaking Dawn is amongst us. In celebration or for some of cringing anticipation will be bringing the joy by having special Twilight inspired posts. Celebrity Email theater? Yep! Character Email Theater? You betcha! A random review of the sountrack? Uh Huh! An even more random review or the random reviews coming out about the movie? Ahh why not! Making fun of the more unusual plot points? You better believe it!

Looking for his baby in all the wrong places. *snicker*

 

B: Is this really the end? E: No, my darling. There is another installment with a group of random characters and no epic battle. B: Oh. Umm...do I at least get to arm wrestle Emmett? E: That's yet to be determined, my love. B: Damn it.

But, you may ask, what about Vampire Diaries and Secret Circle? You two already are complete slackers when writing recaps, are you finally admitting you are behind? Fine, you are right! But…we will still try to keep up or at least catch up on the shows. Promise!

 

We can't believe you keep forgetting about us with all that "sparkly vampire" nonsense.

We have MAJOR catch up to do…

Posted in Secret Circle, Twilight, Uncategorized, Vampire Diaries with tags , , , , , , on October 20, 2011 by talksupe

posted by EC and WC Staceys

Why are the Staceys doing this to us?!? Why?!?

 
It’s been busy…REALLY BUSY for the both of us. So expect gigantic and hilarious catch up posts about the Vampire Diaries and Secret Circle, which we need to stay up late and watch on our DVR’s. So here’s a challenge, you get to tell us a thing or two. In the comment section, tell us what you think about what happened so far on Vampire Diaries, Secret Circle and even Twilight. (Breaking Dawn is coming, y’all!)  Here are some suggestions:
 

Anything about these guys...you can even make something up and pretend it's fanfiction. I don't care, just make it rated T for my sensitive eyes. I might blush.

 
or…
 

Bad boys can be cool...on television

or…
 

It HAS to be eyeliner, right? Or he really loves Culture Club?

maybe…
 
 

Decisions that make us mad... We will miss you, Nick...

how about….
 

Fade to black, Meyer's style

 
perhaps…
 

I'm worried about that dress after that engagement ring! How about you?

 

Chess? Really?

 
New post soon!