Bella, get real.

posted by snowwhitedrifted (SWD/West Coast Stacey)

What do you mean a wedding dress and chucks?

I’m a big fan of the TLC show, “What Not To Wear.” I do think they’re a bit harsh sometimes, and sometimes they frump up their pawns beyond minivan status, but almost all of the time, the fashion victims do look better afterwards.

One of my favorite moments featured an awkward tomboy-ish woman who claimed, during her solo shopping trip,  that she couldn’t walk in high heels. Stacey,while watching said footage, gave Clinton the “really? Pah-lease” look. The fashion challenged woman, will call her, “Linda” said she never learned to walk in high heels. Clinton then turns to Stacey and asks, “Stacey, when does the average woman learn to walk in heels?” To which Stacey replied, “Two and a half.”

Not a week later, my then 2 and a half year came toddling down the hall in my 4″ platform suede Steve Maddens. Doing excellantly.

So “Linda”  think you’re full of shit, and so is Bella.

So that little scene in Breaking dawn where she is teetering in the heels Alice picked out for her… so lame. Sure Bella’s clumsy, and this was in the books, but really? It’s just not believable. Yes, in a book about a love triangle between a vampire, a werewolf, and a boring human , the shoe misrepresenation is what I find far fetched.

The new Uggs... for Alice

Fact: Bella was raised mostly by her mother Rene. Rene’s a hookah, for goodness sake! We see her thong in Eclipse, not to mention her uber cropped jorts. Rene is a heel wearer, dare I say a wedge heel wearer. Renee would have had suede Steve Madden wedges around the house for a 2 and a half year old Bella to play in. Rene would have drilled some shoe skills into Bella.

Fact: Bella took ballet. remember, what’s his face tried to kill her there? Yeah, well Ballerina’s can walk on their friggin toes. A 3 inch pump isn;t going t phase them.

Fact: Bella is always trying to mack on edward, who is much taller than her. She is always trying to climb all up in his biz-nass to get him to kiss her. Well, she must be standing on her tip toes for that. And with all that toe work, she’d build up some strong calf muscles. Ergo, heel wearing would be a breeze.

Starter Loubs for Bella


So, I call bullshit on the heels. Bella, sack up and slip on the Loubs!!!

EC: Umm… I can’t walk in heels. I can barely walk in flats. Oh and I wear my Converse…a lot. Oh no…I’m BELLA!!!!

3 Responses to “Bella, get real.”

  1. I love that show!!!!

  2. Hmm, well Book Bella wore heels (or one heel) to the prom. Therefore she can indeed, walk in them (EVEN WITH A CAST). SO, I call shenanigans!!

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