Team Jacob Edward Pulls A David Letterman…

posted by EC Stacey
This what Team Jacob Edward is Looking For…oh and Feathers

The Top Ten Reasons TJE’s Excited About Breaking Dawn

We love when Team Jacob Edward writes to us and we were so happy to get her letter! Lets’s see just how excited she really is!

What I’m excited about Breaking Dawn

I don’t know about you, but for me it feels like it has been an ETERNITY that I’ve been waiting for Breaking Dawn (Part I) to come out, and when it comes to vampires, an eternity is a very freaking long time!  And finally, finally the day is upon us.

But it got me thinking; why exactly am I excited for Breaking Dawn – PI?  Let’s count them down, shall we?

 10.  Bad hair day… or I guess, eternity

No.  I’m not really looking forward to the bad hair per se, but really Twilight movies and bad hair/wigs kind of seems like it needs to go together:  Edward’s bouffant (which actually, I really kind of miss) and Jacob’s black mop of a wig in Twilight.  Jacob’s mop hair Part II and Jasper’s Poodle ‘do extraordinaire in New Moon.  Alice’s soccer mom hair (minus the grad party) and Jacob’s—I mean, Bella’s mop wig in Eclipse.

 I mean, isn’t part of the fun finding things to gigglecringe* about?  I kind of think so, don’t you, Spider monkey? (EC: You had me at “Spider monkey”)

*Yes, gigglecringe, I know it’s not a real word.  I make up words and use them as if they’re real because I’m odd cool like that.

And from the stills and previews I’ve seen, it appears that Carlisle wins the Bad Hair Eternity metal for BD.  I’m wondering if the Summit Nieces Collective just realized that he hadn’t had a horrid hair moment in the films, and they feel it’s important that all the main characters have horrendous hair at one point or another through the films.  It’s just Carlisle’s turn, I guess.

It's just so bad... That hair goes horribly with a jaunty scarf!

9.  It’s our one last Twilight movie that we can enjoy in peace before the world flogs us all and the Twilight fandom ends up being the butt of many (more) jokes on Tosh.0

Personally some of us (EC) can't WAIT for the TOSH.O jokes. (I really don't want to find him as funny as I do, but I can't help it)

Honestly, when I read the series, I didn’t have one shred of icky feelings about Jake’s imprinting on Renesmee.  Stephenie did an amazing job explaining the whole imprinting thing and softened the blow before Jake imprinted on Nessie with Quil and Clair in Eclipse.  We already knew, there wasn’t anything gross or horrendous about it, so when I read the end of Jacob’s book in Breaking Dawn, my reaction was something like, “Oh my God!  Jake imprinted on Renesmee!” not, “Ugh, that’s (fill in the blank with whatever repulsive adjective you’d prefer)”

You get the point. 

Honestly, I think the whole Jacob imprinting on Nessie isn’t going to be in BD-P1 (seriously, it’s a frick’n long title, I had to abbreviate).  I think that this is our last chance to enjoy a Twilight movie in peace (well, other than the harmless heckling we let roll off our backs).  And I am fully bracing myself for next year when I’m quite certain that the sh*t is going to hit the fan and we’ll be all stoned to death.  Okay, probably not stoned to death, but the ridicule will be fierce for us… and then there’s poor Taylor who will never live it down. (EC: You know, poor Taylor is going to have to hold the demon baby and look longingly at it, with a single tear running down his chiseled (yet still baby) face)

8.  Alice’s clothes

"Will Alice have cool clothes? Magic 8-Ball Says..."Be Afraid, be very Afraid"

I will be the first to admit, I am nothing close to a fashionista.  I never had the knack some have to look fantabulous all the time even if they aren’t swathed in designer items head-to-toe.  I’ve always envied those people and tried to take cues from them but never was blessed with that gift.  Alice is supposed to be blessed with said gift and unlimited funds to quite literally swathe herself in the hottest, most cutting edge fashion out there… and she just… doesn’t in the movies.

Actually, I thought Alice looked her best in Twilight.  To me, she looked the closest to what I remember Bella describing the Cullens in the books.  It was something along the lines of; “their clothes were simple and understated but hinted at designer origins.”  (I’m reciting from memory so it was something like that, anyway.)  The Twilight movie seemed to have done that for our favorite local vampire family even without actually going all out designer.  When New Moon came, I was confused because I’d remembered reading somewhere that the costume department was going to be using actual designer clothes this time instead of knockoffs. Like I’d said I’m not a fashionista, nor do I pretend to be, but I don’t know what designer put together New Moon Alice’s ensemble.

Therefore, I’m looking forward to seeing what she wears in Breaking Dawn; if she looks cute and adorable, or if she’s Navaho designed smocks that resemble fancy bur lack sacks.

7.   The resurrection of Buttcrack Santa*

What?  That’s not going to happen?!?  Dammit!  I was so stoked too!  -kicks imaginary rock-

*If you don’t’ know who Buttcrack Santa is, hop over to LTT’s old site (www.letterstotwilight.wordpress.com) and you’ll find the history of Buttcrack Santa there. 

May he rest in peace.

Okay fine, the real #7…

7.  Shirtless Jacob

I don't care how old he is... he will always be jailbait to me.

While I am unswervingly loyal to my Team Edward status, little Robbie boy doesn’t have the ah-may-zing rock hard, buff build that our lovely Taylor does from those meat patties… though according to that window sill busting shot, Rob’s been working out which I’m forever thankful for. (Sends praises to the gods.)

Rock hard abs are completely overrated.

I was going to say, I was looking forward to “Shirtless Wolf boys” but it seems that Taylor is the only one who’s really committed to giving us the drool-worthy body.  I think the SNL skit where Taylor dressed in a Team Edward shirt and a mini-skirt (AWESOME) said it best, “I was like YES!  I want to bake cookies on your stomach.”

Check it out:  http://www.hulu.com/watch/114945/saturday-night-live-lab-partners

So while I’m a diehard Team Edward girl, it doesn’t mean I can appreciate Jacob.  I’m devoted not dead. (EC: So disappointed in you right now. tsk tsk.)

6.  The Denali hoochie mamas vampires

You know Mike Newton was so about to try to hit that...and that...and that

Yes, that’s right.  I want to see the Denali girls; specifically, Tanya.  Sure, I’ve seen pictures the chick that’s playing Tanya, but I want to see her as Tanya.  I want to see her blatantly flirt with Edward and have Edward smile that crooked smile and walk away with Bella on his arm.

Take that you little succubus!   I’m Bella’s going to turn Edward into an incubus that bites pillows and busts up headboards.  Ha!

Hmmm – or maybe seeing Tanya put doubt in Bella that maybe she and Edward had a history.  That could be fun too.

5.  Having the day off

While this isn’t exactly about Breaking Dawn itself, it is something I’m very much looking forward to.  Yes boys and girls, this will be my FOURTH day of vacation that I have judiciously spent in order to watch the first showing of the Twilight movies the day they come out… well, negating the midnight showing.  (I have also used vacation days to watch Water for Elephants, Remember Me, Harry Potter… it’s kind of my thing.)

Every year, one of my best RL friends and I take the day off of work so we could go to the first showing opening day.  Well, except New Moon where I went with someone else because she ended up having an emergency c-section 6 weeks before her due date, the day New Moon was released… the poor woman was so ticked off listening to the nurses, who were prepping her, talking about how they were going to see New Moon that night.  She flashed a look to her husband that she wanted them to shut up because it was bad enough she was missing it, but them talking about it was like getting it rubbed in her face. 

Anyway, we do this because having the day off work rocks, but also, the theater attendance at 10 am on a weekday is very low, including no tweeners that don’t know how to stop squealing when Jacob disrobes every 2 minutes.  (My second time watching New Moon was with my sisters and realized those girls really never stop squealing.)  Then after we watch the movie we go to lunch and rehash what we liked and didn’t like.  It’s a blast.  I’d highly recommend it.  Besides, be honest, you’re not going to get anything at work accomplished the day the movie comes out because you’ll be too busy thinking about how long you have until you can get out of there to watch the movie.

4.  New fodder

Twilight was the best for fun fodder:

 “Hold on tight Spidermonkey.”  “Kids love those little bottles.”  “Purple’s cool”  “Hey Arizona, how you likin’ the rain, girl?” and on, and on…

And while I doubt we’ll come away with the epicness that Twilight had provided for giggleable lines, I have high hopes for something good… in a good way, not cringe worthy, hide my face way.

3.  Getting answers to unanswered questions

Like, what the eff Aro was so pissed about in the preview clip I’d seen.  Was I the only one who watched that one preview where Aro throws the chick I can only assume is Heidi or some other Volturri vamp across the turret?  I was so confused. (EC: That was NOT in the book! I checked. There WAS lots of  Jacob running in the woods. yawn.)

Or why exactly UC & Moon from LTT loved.  Like, LOVED BD – P1 when they saw it on Monday because those lucky girls got to not only see the likes of the Twilight cast and crew in the flesh, they got to see the movie.  #jealous.

2.  Vampire Cesarean

Good ol’ Bill Condon (seriously, I see “condom” every time I read his name) promised sex, blood and feathers and I’m looking forward to it.

Enough said. (EC: The best part of Breaking Dawn. It not only becomes a ‘horror’ book, but Edward finally stops his whining enough for the most creative way to perform a c-section EVER!)

1.  Feathers, Busted Headboards and Bruises, oh my!

Was there really anything else you were expecting for my number 1?  As far as I’m concerned it’s just like Edward said in Twilight, “There is no other option!”

I do realize we will end up with a “Fade to Sad” and as much as I really would have wanted an R rated sex scene, I know it’s not going to happen.  But if the clip of Robward busting up that windowsill is just some of the amazingness we’ll get, I’m stoked!

With that being said, this could all go horribly wrong.  After Twilight, Rob and Kristen got awkward around each other in front of the camera and while I’ve never seen Eyes Wide Shut, I heard Tom and Nicole’s sex scene was AW-KWARD.  I’m kind of afraid that will happen here, but I’m still crossing my fingers.

Much better angle

One last thing… I did a Top Ten because it seemed appropriate, but I do have a BONUS thing I’m looking forward to:

I finally have been able to abstain from reading the books more than 6 months before the movie (that was HARD to keep from caving to temptation).  I’m looking forward to just enjoying the movie without the book fresh in my mind to nit-pick and compare how they’re just not the same.  AND finally being able to re-visit my old friends that my kids call my Apple Book, Flower Book, Ribbon Book & Game Book.

What are you looking forward to?

❤ TeamJacobEdward

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4 Responses to “Team Jacob Edward Pulls A David Letterman…”

  1. (SWD) Great post TJE!!!! Carlisle and Alice have the same haircut. And I hate Alice’s shoes with that outfit.
    Boots.

    EC’s captions are too funny!

  2. Taking the day off is the best one! Great post TJE! Just wanted to let you ladies know that I am finally caught up on my VampDiaries and now can go back through all of your posts! I have been saving them in my email. I was only a year behind but hey you got me hooked on Being Human, Outlander, Discovery of Witches, etc. A girl only has so many hours in one day. I am so hyped up on Supe stuff that when I do watch/read something without supes, I am totally disappointed. I keep hoping Chuck Bass will start walking through walls or get x-ray vision. 😉

  3. TeamJacobEdward Says:

    EC, your comments and added screen shots totally made this post that much better, you rock.

    BTW- a few things about that:

    -THANK YOU for that much, much better angle of the busting headboard/windowsill! I. Am. Died. (fans self – if that’s not FF sex scene inspiration, I don’t know what is)

    -I’m sorry I disappointed you, but a girl appreciates… We good Spider Monkey? hehe 😉

    -I understand EC, I too cannot help myself from laughing at Tosh. It’s just we know he’ll be one to slam us lovers of all things Twi

    -In that pic if the Denali chicks, it totally looks like Esme is pointing and laughing at someone. I’m hoping she is and I’m going it’s Mike.

    -I’m spoked that LTT today said it’ll be more like Fade to HOT than Fade to sad. #stoked!

    -you are right my friend, rock-hard bodies are over rated when it comes to Robward… (and my hubs, who has muscle tone but doesn’t have a body builder body, and I’d never want him to). As much as I enjoy looking at Taylor (and even better, Kellan)’s muscles, I’d still chose Robward any day. I just appreciate them… Mostly the shoulders, what is it about muscular shoulders and arms? Mmmmm…

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