Vampire Diaries recap: The Hybrid
posted by snowwhitedrifted (West Coast Stacey/ SWD)
…or the one where I got really bored. (EC: Until the end!!!!!)
Woods woods, walking, woods, woods, walking, woods.. etc. Then about 20 minutes of various wolf groaning. Then they all died. I didn’t care, I was so bored with this episode. It was so full of whining and “I’m going” “No you’re not.” Oh please, How many seasons and different vampire franchises does it take to get the human heroines to “Keep Away?” No one knows because it doesn’t exist.
EC: That was just a bunch of gross. Like an episode of True Blood and crying vampires. Yuck.
Just let em help, vamps, and be there for back up. It’s usually the human women saving the immortal vamp dudes asses anyway, so just quit your over protectaive machismo BS.
EC: Not counting Elena. The only way that she can save anybody is her constant attempts at sacrificing herself. She is rather a liability, isn’t she? At least being constantly in danger, gives Elena something to do except for crying in a corner. Where’s our kick ass heroine?” Yeah, Bonnie’s been MIA so far.
*Steps down from soap box*
Anywho, Matt is sad and it hurts too much when Jeremy mentions his dead sister. Oh wah. Just help
holy cow is that whiny? Mmmphm! Jeremy.
EC: HELLLOOOO there, Jeremy! Once Bonnie gets back we have a 50/50 chance that Jeremy is going to get ‘Whiny’ again. His cuteness quotient could be going down accordingly. It’s simple mathematics.
Carol Lockwood and the Sheriff. Really, ladies? There are vampires and wolves in your town. Just get used to it and go play bunko. Stop shooting Caroline!
EC: That was a shocker when the Mayor saw her boy, get super hairy. Does she need to start supplying him with flea collars and chew toys? Poor Caroline! It gets worse. See below!
Where did Alaric’s cutie bed head scruffy ‘do go? It morphed into hipster. Not approved.
EC: I like the hipster. Alaric’s like Elena’s deadbeat, drunk surrogate dad. What a cute family. I really liked his “Supernatural Adventure Pack”. Everything you need for a leasurely walk in the woods , you know, just in case you run into a hairy, snarling beast. Or that kid from 7th Heaven.
Well, Stefan’s Ripper side chooses uber low v-necks once again. I’m not as opposed since he’s killing people and it’s entertaining. Maybe his tee will become as iconic and endearing as Eric Northman’s black tank top. No?
EC: Oh joy. Super low and tight girl shirt. He must be shopping at EXPRESS or THE LIMITED again. Klaus thinks it’s fetching.
I missed having the women in this episode. True, most of them are dead or shot or whatever, but it was just Elena. In improper hiking gear. Also, did anyone else think this, “She’s walking in wet shorts after being tossed in the lake? Ouch, hello chaffing!” ‘Cuz that happened to me on our Hawaiian honeymoon when we went kayaking, then hiking to (and back from) a waterfall. Och aye, me thighs! Wet board shorts are brutal I tell you. I see why they wear the grass skirts. I was in a pareau for the rest of the trip. #digressing
EC: Did you notice Ian…I mean…Damon…staring at Nina’s…I mean Elena’s chest in the pond scene? His eye’s were doing that crazy wide eye look where you can see all of the whites. It was very distracting. It’s like he’s trying to hypnotize you through the television screen. To recycle bottles. Or to install solar panels.
So Stefan got bit by Roy the wolf boy and needs Klaus to heal him. He was telling Klaus, “… do with me what you wish, I failed you” when my DVR cut off. I didn’t see the end. I have to admit, I didn’t mind. This epi was a snoozer.
EC: Ahh yes! The end! This is where it gets good! Jeremy is getting begged by ghost Vicki to “save her”, but… Anna appears warning him not to trust Vicki. Never trust Vicki, Jeremy, she’ll just try to tempt you with ghostly drugs and you’ll be forced to hang out with Matt more.
THEN… Caroline was kidnapped be HRG from Heroes!!! Aaaaahhhh!!!! I really liked Heroes, Season one. Let’s not talk about later seasons of Heroes. sigh. Who is her….FATHER!!!! Poor Caroline’s day is getting worse by the minute!
What will happen next week? Will Bonnie return in awesome footwear? How will have the super glossed lips now that Jenna is dead? Well, besides Klaus. *wink*