I Didn’t Watch the Teen Choice Awards But…

 posted be EC Stacey

Let’s Pretend I Did

Why am I here? I am starring in The Help for goodness sakes!

Let get to the truth first…I completely forgot the Teen Choice Awards was on. Oh..and I wouldn’t have watched them anyway because I am an adult with a toddler and a preschooler, so the fact that I co-write this blog and write “stories” is really embarassment enough for one girl. (BTW…writing this while drinking Pinot Grigio. Drinking and writing…oh enjoy the insanity.) But, I did look at the pictures on PopSugar before I fell asleep on the couch watching True Blood. (That couch is way too comfy!) Which reminds me…the True Blood recap is going to be a double addition due to sleeping through last week episode TWICE. Not that it wasn’t good, but it’s summer and the gin & tonics make me sleepy. Also, I am trying to try to talk myself out of being team witch,which is seriously happening. Anyway, here is my review of the show I didn’t watch, because seriously all the screaming teenagers make my ears bleed.

Okay little Biebers, I understand. I loved New Kids On The Block back in the day. Had a Donnie Walberg Beach Towel, but...seeing the Biebs makes my eyes bleed. You'll understand when you become a parent.

 

Seriously, you HAVEN'T done anything with that hair? Are you going through some issues with being a heartthrob? This is getting ridiculous. Those little girls need to be mobbing you with scissors and hair gel not admiration.

 

Fine jailbait, I'll admit it...it's time for a Rob hair .

 

Alright Ashley, it's time to channel your inner Alice Cullen and get out that MARK makeup starter kit and fix that Rob up!

 
 

Nice job. Ashley! Kellan looks pretty! Now get to work on Rob.

 

It's the Harry Potter guys! Umm...I might have only watched the one with Rob in it and turned it off before his character died. Awkward. Oh and embarassing.

 

Hi Glee cast! Where's the lovely Mr. Shue? Right he's my age so he's at a bar.

 

Somerhalder, did you forget how old you are? You can meet Matthew Morrison and I at a bar. *rolling eyes*

 

On a more positive note...I liked Nikki's dress.

 

Back to old people at teen award shows...hey there cougar! Trying to get close to the Biebs? *that image is disgusting and I just gagged*

 

You two were there. Why? Oh and Walberg, your kid is too young to be there, so don't use that as an excuse. Just slightly questionable parenting.

 
 

Has a plague descended upon us? The Kardashian Clan are here too?!? I am really worrying for society at this moment.

 

Rudy from The Cosby Show?!? I am so old! *crying into a glass of Pinot Grigio*

 
 

Who the heck is this? The girl who sang that horrible Friday song? Really?!? I am trembling about the future.

 

Let's end on a postive note! Normally this would be Rob or Ian, but...Rob has horrible hair and Ian has regressed to 15 year-old.

 
 
 
I need more wine…
 
 
 

6 Responses to “I Didn’t Watch the Teen Choice Awards But…”

  1. TeamJacobEdward Says:

    Maybe Rob’s handler told him to take a cue from Johnny Depp in how to stay hot in Hollywood… Only the first photo he happened upon was one from Edward Scissorhands.

    Hmm, I wonder what we would have seen if he had found Captain Jack Sparrow first…. Arrr!

  2. TeamJacobEdward Says:

    Oh and I didn’t watch either. (I totally forgot… #bad fan… Or something)

  3. (SWD here)
    LOL, EC! Died at this, “Hi Glee cast! Where’s the lovely Mr. Shue? Right he’s my age so he’s at a bar.”

    And thank you for ending this post with Chris Hemsworth.
    RAWR!… from women of all ages.

  4. That’s not “Rudy” from the Cosby Show, that’s that even younger girl from the later seasons, “Olivia”? or something like that. I just remember her sitting on Bill Cosby’s lap a lot.

    Also I saw that “True Blood” was nominated for several Teen Choice awards! Um, what parent is letting their teen watch that?? Talk about questionable parenting.

    • EC: It WAS Olivia!!! Why did I write Rudy? I must be getting old like the Cosby kids!

      On the same note…Theo is a guest star on Community now. That makes me happy!

  5. comment formater…

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