posted by EC Stacey
- What the HECK was this guy drinking? And where can I get some?
WHY SUKEIKIS (and Ansari) NEED TO MENTOR ROB PATTINSON
The Everything Twilight Awards…I Mean the 2011 MTV MOVIE AWARDS was an event. Or a fiasco. My inability to actually decide how I feels about it is the reason it took me so long to write this post. (Also, it’s summertime and my head is still in the clouds after reading that delicious Skarsgard interview in GQ.)
SWD: I walked by this GQ in the grocery store, rubber necked, and plowed right into a dad who was laughing at me. Good times
EC: I can say, without a doubt, that THIS GUY was brilliant…
My NEW celebrity crush for 2011
That’s right the funny man brought joy to my MTV MOVIE AWARD watching experience. Don’t get me wrong, I do enjoy a drunk, blabbering Rob saying unbleeped curse awards. I missed the confused and unintentionally funny Pattinson from year’s past and was bored of the PR packaged version that was all over the publicity for Eclipse. (That overpolished version should only be seen in little Taylor Lautner, not Rob. Is nothing sacred anymore?!?) However(and it’s a big one), I have a feeling if Rob had a comedy mentor to guide him, we might actually have a man that can cross movie genres! Rob doing a comedy would feel so right!
SWD: Here’s my suggestion. They make a Hangover 3 and it takes place in Scotland (the kilts are begging to adorn Bradley Cooper) but they start out in London and meet Patti… drunken hijinx ensue… off to the Highlands where there are plenty of sheep jokes and inappropriately tossed cabers….
"You really think I can be funny? That would be bloody brilliant! But my handler's only want me to play suave Edward Cullen types!"
Good start, Robbie! Making weird faces while eating is your first step towards comedy domination! Wait...you really eat like that? Ohh...my bad.
But who can help? You could go get some training at the Actor’s Studio in New York! No time? Hmm…
Perfect! These two can help! If an InSync Boy can become hilarious and have great chemistry with Kunis then...
SWD: Would this, erm, work? Rob has big hands and usually works with Stewie… I think we’d have a better effect with Tom Stu!!! 🙂
Oh no! Skinny, little Taylor saw this...
Poor boy is so confused right now! Also, because Robert did this...
THIS is funny!
How about her for a mentor?
She will eat you alive.
I suggest being in a movie with THIS charming red head! (They are the best you know!)
This man should be your GURU! (Just like Somerhalder worships Deepak Chopra)
You can be on Funny or Die's Between Two Ferns, Rob! Just try to have some dignity and contain the giggles.
Oops! Got distracted by Xavier and Rob's comment about ripping off Bryce's head and her having a baby in her tummy. Awkward!
- Just promise me to never become THIS GUY!
This is my advice to you dear Robert. Just promise that next time you will drink a little less ‘courage juice’ and embrace your inner sillly. (It’s more than enough.)
SWD: Random: I recently learned they make Justin Bieber T-shirts in men’s sizes. That’s just wrong.