The Epic Tale of Blacksmith Tyler or…

The Gigantic Vampire Diaries Recap-alooza

posted by EC Stacey and WC Stacey (SWD)
“Aww…Girly Wolf, we hardly knew ya!

*Spoilers for those of you that been even more busy than us to watch! * I was watching the Hallmark Channel…umm…I mean accidentially turned to it when flipping to…ahh…Conan. That’s it, CONAN. When I came upon one of the fifty, Love Comes Softly tv movies. The first one starred a widowed Katherine Heigel (from Grey’s Anatomy, before she started starring in ridiculous Romantic Comedies. I use both of those words loosely.) who while in the wilds of the Prairie met herself a widower. He saved her…married her and blah, blah, blah. Then they made a million more of these things with her decendants. While I was gagging at, I mean watching Hilary Duff’s sister (Hi there, random and really bad casting!), who did I see but our wolf boy Tyler…playing a smiley blacksmith! I was mesmerized by this nice blacksmith being played by Pissy, and to my astonishment, I liked him! So when Tyler reappeared on Vampire Diaries, I was…happy. Before we start the recap…I am going to eat my words. I like Tyler now. Stop smirking to yourselves. Seriously. Stop. It. I am not kidding here, people. I will take it back. Please, let us not discuss this again!

It's my new favorite blacksmith!

Alright…let’s get back to the recapping, by doing it in sections! ELIJAH

Things that could have been...so sad...

First, that picture above is WHAT SHOULD HAVE HAPPENED! It would have been fantastic, awesome and given Alaric something more to do than become cheesy Klaus. Plus I love that jacket she’s wearing. Instead, we get Elijah’s epic tale of loving Katherine and getting all attracted to our buddy, Elena. (Come on now…another admirer? Can we please hook a Bonnie up? With someone that isn’t Whiny.)
How did we leave things with our maybe sort of good, sort of bad friend with the floppy hair? Saving his stupid brother. It’s like they are the old school Stefan and Damon. Only one isn’t in touch with his inner Edward Cullen and the other is just a chauvanistic wind bag. (Talking to you Klaus!)
SWD: What’s with Elijah’s accent? What’s it supposed to be… Do we just classify it as the vague vampire standard “Old Language”. Klaus is clearly British, and their bros.. so why is Elijah speaking angsty mumblish?

KLAUS

Bow down peasents and admire my beautiful Golden Retriever wig!

The question of this season’s big bad Klaus could be, “Is he truly a scary bad guy?” He is an obnoxious one. That is true. But is he scary enough to have our heroine quaking in her designer boots? Let’s look at the gold standard, BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER (the tv show) to answer this important question. For you young’uns, I suggest renting it on Netflixs or searching for the rerun, because it is that good. You see, every season they had some great and creepy villians, while keeping up with the romance and teen angst. Trust me, Vampire Diaries is close to that and is a far better than the sad attempt at villians terrorizing the good people of Forks. (James and Victoria? Oh please. And the Volturi? The scariest thing about them is their wardrobe and love of scarfs. Like Damon’s ex girlfriend! hee hee.) The difference is that BUFFY wasn’t afraid to make their bad guys scary looking! The bad guys of Mystic Falls look like they just got back from manscaping at the local salon. (A nice pedicure and highlights for Klaus, please! Oh and he would like a lemon slice in his glass of blood!) Give me a scar, burn or anything, to make him seem bad. Pretty please?
SWD: I’m with you. I get confused when the baddies are ‘scaped and clothed properly. With Klaus, however, he looks like my college boyfriend, sans blue doc martens and baggy rave clothes. So I have no problem associating him with evil.
CAROLINE AND THE CASE OF THE SWITCHING PERSONALITIES
“Okay, so which one of you is the jerk and who’s the nice guy? I am so confused!”

Just like Nancy Drew, our Caroline is left figuring out what happened to the personalities of her two suitors! Pissy got a soul and has been quite charming. (Must be channeling his inner Hallmark Channel blacksmith) While Matt has been taking pissy to whole new level of pouting, huffing and stomping his feet. What’s a girl to do? Well…not talk to her mom, because she just might stake her. SWD: I think Caroline needs to seek some older council… say in the form of Alaric. He has a history of his girlfriends turning vamp, and she already is one. However he also has a history of his vampire luvahs ending up dead. I can’t handle it if Caroline dies. I will miss her wardrobe too much.

BONNIE, TEENAGE WITCH, EPISODE ?: HOW TO MAKE A BOYFRIEND DISAPPEAR

I wish. Instead we get…

Remember at the beginning of a romance when everybody wore cute shirts?

Then….

 

 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

I'm just going to whine in your face until you cave or turn me into a frog

SWD: I did enjoy the “Witch-Off” between Bonnie and that other witch. All that fire and brimstone. All that was missing was the Carmina Burana.

THE (OTHER) BROTHERS ANGST

"Remember the good old days when we would kick around the old ball and wear funny hats?"

The boys continued to beat each other up, pine over Elena and try to sacrifice themselves for love. Klaus kicked poor Stefan’s butt. Damon force feed Elena. (I know she’s a thin girl, Damon, but wouldn’t a hamburger work better?) Oh…and Damon got bit by our buddy Tyler. That’s what I call a bad day for the boys! At least they weren’t mourning their lady, BUT… SWD: Edward Cullen would be so proud of his emo buddy Stefan pulling a martyr move to save his beloved! You know, I think Rob may even email Paul about. Hint hint, EC. Here’s what I think, with his new wolf-y bite (my inner mom totally wanted to doctor his owe-ie up with a Hello Kitty Band-Aid and a popsicle) Damon will also become a hybrid and defeat Klaus. BODY COUNT

It
We will miss you Sark…I mean Elena’s Daddy. You turned out to be a pretty good guy. You should have let Jeremy do it.
SWD: See, I didn’t watch ALIAS (right?), so I don’t know his Sark-i-ness. I just know him as closer talker John and he gives me the heebe jeebes. So I didn’t mourn his dirt face plant.

See ya, Dad!

Jenna had potential. Potential and a kickin’ wardrobe. Another example of replacing Jeremy instead of her! Plus, just think of all the missed opportunities with Alaric and Elijah. There is always room for more love triangles. (Chick Flick 101)

SWD: *mumbles* Now that she’s dead, can I have her boyfriend wardrobe? *Thinks* This sounds familliar… I have multiple attacks of wardrobe envy towards this show. And Klaus, I’m a little upset that you put a stake hole in Jenna’s cute jacket. One suffers for fashion, not the other way around. That poor little jacket didn’t need to be sacrificed too.

Plus wolf girl above. Poor Jules, you snarly little thing!
And the sister witch. Who didn’t deserve to be saved by her brother and dad.

This puppy:

Brady.

Also, can we not forget…
How did you pop up on here? Miss you, Uncle Mason!
Just one last time before tonight’s season finale…

So sad!!!!!

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3 Responses to “The Epic Tale of Blacksmith Tyler or…”

  1. TeamSeth Says:

    “so why is Elijah speaking angsty mumblish?”
    Um, because he’s in love with me and trying to express his feelings subtly through the script… duh. 🙂

    Sigh. Is the season really over? So sad.

  2. TeamSeth Says:

    Oh Sark. How much I can only see David Anders as the Oregonian who played Sark and Bradley Cooper as the bad blond highlights who played Will Tippin…

    I will miss seeing you, David. You were the reason I started watching this show. (and no, I’m not kidding.)

  3. FeatLilJ Says:

    Um…haven’t I always liked Tyler… Besides the yummy factor… The later part of this season -he has showed depth to his character. Especially the scenes with Caroline. Plus it doesn’t hurt that he is shirtless a lot:)

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