Rob Recaps the Royal Wedding

posted by snowwhitedrifted (SWD/ West Coast Stacey)

Celebrity Fake Email Theater. Again, DISCLAIMER, fake.

Firstly, I just have to say that I take back everything I said in the prior post, Vampire Diaries was on fire this week)

Back to the subject at hand. In a last ditch effort to have “more Pretty at the party,” Rob Patti carpools with the Beckhams to the Royal shindig:

Subject: Beautiful! That dress!! Those hats!!!

To: blueeyedenvironmentalist@hotmail.com FacinelliFamily90210@gmail.com, annashubby@gmail.com,bluesweaterswede@gmail.comFrom: hotpockets4evah@att.net

Good morning, mates!

You won’t believe this, I’m sending this from Westminster Abbey! Kate just walked in! Well now, dude she’s smokin hot she looks quite fetching.

Your mate,
Rob

Subject: Beautiful! That dress!! Those hats!!!

To: (The Guys)

From: plaidshirtvamp@att.net

Tell us about the dress, Rob! Is it a ball gown?  Is it a Reem Acra? How’s her crinoline?How long is the train? And the veil? Oh please tell me there’s a veil.

Your friend,
Paul

Subject: Beautiful! That dress!! Those hats!!!

To: blueeyedenvironmentalist@hotmail.com FacinelliFamily90210@gmail.com, annashubby@gmail.com,bluesweaterswede@gmail.com

 From: hotpockets4evah@att.net

Paul,

It’s fabulous! The train is Cathedral length and she has on this adorable lace jacket which emphasizes her slendor arms. And don’t get me started on the tiara.

Your mate,
Rob

Subject: Beautiful! That dress!! Those hats!!!

To: (The Guys)

From: plaidshirtvamp@att.net

Stop right there, man,… there’s a tiara! *dies* But in her case it’s an actual crown! With real diamonds! SQUEE!! How exquisite.

Your friend,
Paul

Subject: Beautiful! That dress!! Those hats!!!

To:blueeyedenvironmentalist@hotmail.com FacinelliFamily90210@gmail.com, annashubby@gmail.com,bluesweaterswede@gmail.com

 From: hotpockets4evah@att.net

 Paul,

It really is. The whole package is just so lovely. I litrally shed tears.

Your mate,
Rob

Subject: Beautiful! That dress!! Those hats!!!

To: (The Guys)

From: plaidshirtvamp@att.net

*sighs* I do love weddings. You lucky dog, you!

Your friend,
Paul

Subject: Beautiful! That dress!! Those hats!!!

To: plaidshirtvamp@att.net; (The Guys)

From: blueeyedenvironmentalist@hotmail.com

Gawd you Queens! We’re men, the only thing we care about in regards to the wedding dress is how to get around all the stupid layers.

They’re not throwing rice are they? They know it’s bad for the birds, when they eat it their stomachs explode.

Bubbles are better.

-Ian

Reuse, Renew, Recycle! Doin’ it Vamp Style in GA

Subject: Beautiful! That dress!! Those hats!!!

To: blueeyedenvironmentalist@hotmail.com FacinelliFamily90210@gmail.com, annashubby@gmail.com,bluesweaterswede@gmail.com

 From: hotpockets4evah@att.net

 Paul,

Oh bubbles would be a dream! It’d be like an Ibiza club scene but with proper English decorum!

Your mate,
Rob

Subject: Thanks!
To: hotpockets4evah@att.net

From: FacinelliFamily90210@gmail.com

Hey ‘Son’! I’m so glad you are having a great time!

Pete

*thinks* I need to take him hunting.

Subject: RE: Thanks!

To: plaidshirtvamp@att.net; blueeyedenvironmentalist@hotmail.com FacinelliFamily90210@gmail.com, annashubby@gmail.com,bluesweaterswede@gmail.com

From: hotpockets4evah@att.net

Oh hey, Steve’s here!

#BritVampReunion

Rob

Subject: English Countryside Trip

To: bluesweaterswede@gmail.com

From: annashubby@gmail.com

Hey Guys,

 I was surprised to get an invite, but turns out the Queen is a huge True Blood fan!
Stephen

Subject: English Countryside Trip

To: annashubby@gmail.com

From: bluesweaterswede@gmail.com

And I’m here too, becuase Pippa is #TeamEric

Alex

Subject: Book Club

To: plaidshirtvamp@att.net; blueeyedenvironmentalist@hotmail.com; hotpockets4evah@att.net; 100MonkeyMan@gmail.com

From: praisehim@aol.com

Who performed the ceremony? Was it the pope?!! *Fangirls*

-Kellen

Find the Path

Subject: Beautiful! That dress!! Those hats!!!

To: plaidshirtvamp@att.net; blueeyedenvironmentalist@hotmail.com

 From: hotpockets4evah@att.net

Paul,

Nina is here! She is.. uh oh… she is…  I don’t know if I should be the one to tell you this…. She just slipped her number to Prince Harry.

Your mate,
Rob

Subject: Beautiful! That dress!! Those hats!!!

To: (The Guys)

From: plaidshirtvamp@att.net

WHAT!!!!!!!!!

Your friend,
Paul

Subject: Beautiful! That dress!! Those hats!!!

To: plaidshirtvamp@att.net; blueeyedenvironmentalist@hotmail.com

 From: hotpockets4evah@att.net

Well, he is Prince Hot Ginge after all…

Your mate,
Rob

Subject: Concert on January 7

To: plaidshirtvamp@att.net; blueeyedenvironmentalist@hotmail.com; hotpockets4evah@att.net; bluesweaterswede@gmail.com; annashubby@gmail.com
From: 100MonkeyMan@gmail.com
How are the bridesmaids man? Any easy pickens?

-Jack, the monkey man

Subject: Beautiful! That dress!! Those hats!!!

To: plaidshirtvamp@att.net; blueeyedenvironmentalist@hotmail.com

 From: hotpockets4evah@att.net

Jax, so crass. They’re totally DTF I’m not going to dignify that with a response. I …uh-oh.. Kate just looked at me. You know, THAT look. The one that I get from every female and some dudes on the planet Twilight set stalkers. She’s, uh, hitching up her dress! She’s pulling off her garter! She’s waving it over her head and pointing at me. She just nailed me with it and moaned “elephants!!!!!!!!”.  Oh no, Oh God,  the royal guard is getting ready to tackle me, got to run! Later chaps

Your mate,
Rob

Subject: Beautiful! That dress!! Those hats!!!

To: plaidshirtvamp@att.net; blueeyedenvironmentalist@hotmail.com

 From: hotpockets4evah@att.net

From Tower of London.

I didn’t make it out.

It is nice to have a little peace though. I’m quite safe. My cell mate is Team Jacob. Oh sh*t, he just said he meant Jankowski.

Rememebr Me,

Rob

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One Response to “Rob Recaps the Royal Wedding”

  1. robsfuturemate Says:

    As always, I love these!! So full of WIN!! Rob’s final email is perfect 🙂

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