Vampire Diaries: What *should* be happening.
posted by snowwhitedrifted (west coast Stacey/ SWD) and a wee bit from east coast Stace
SWD:Neither of us have
started finished watching last weeks Vampire Diaries. We’ve watched most of the prior weeks ( the Peace, Love and Fangs 60’s dance party episode) but it left us both uninspired and snarkless. (SWD update: I watched last weeks epi. And I have to take back a lot of what I say in the following post. There’s Salvatore angst, more weird witch chants, and an entire post could be written about the faux Elizabethan flashback wigs.) . EC: Well, it made me cranky…does that count?
SWD:I think it all started going downhill with Elena’s mommy’s reappearance. I have already forgotten what her significance was on there, except that it got Katherine in a house where she could witness Klaus entering Alaric… which is not nearly as homoerotic as that sounds. That scene could have happened anywhere. The witch burial ground, the woods, the bathroom of Arbys. So why again was Elena’s mom there? Who knows. EC: I might disagree a bit here. I think Mommy Vamp should have been the big bad! How twisted would it be that Elena’s mommy was trying to be here undoing the WHOLE time? It would give the term “Mommy Issues” a whole other dimension. Doncha think? Plus that actress plays a great bad person character. The just wasted wonderful pontential by making her into flambe.
SWD:Which brings up the point, I have been totally unengrossed in the past few epi’s of this show. We had 2 very long breaks this season, and this return was starting off well, but now … well, here’s what we think SHOULD be happening:
1. Bonnie and Damon should hook up: Vampire knowledge + Witch skills= well, I don’t know, but I think Bonnie could do some cool stuff with her candles in Damon’s bedroom. EC: The dancing between the two of them were the BEST part of Disco Night in Mystic Falls. The both radiate oodles of more heat, then either of them with Elena or Whiny. Also, just a quick question, if public schools are losing funding for programs how the heck can Mystic Falls budget afford all those fancy lighting for the school dances. I know, I know, it’s a television show. Sometimes, I like a little true life to trickle in my supernatural show about vampires, werewolves and witches. Makes me feel a tad bit more normal for liking this stuff. :0)
2. KlausRick should be sinister and have his OWN body: Not just Alaric complaining about his wardrobe and shaking in a classroom, looking constipated, while he “kills” Bonnie. EC: Bad Alaric had so much wasted potential. That seems to be the overriding theme of this post. You know what would be great? If they were going to make Klaus all cheesy, they should hire someone hilarious to play him. For instance, Paul Rudd, Aziz Ansari (yep, I’m a huge fan), or Jack Black ! Even better, the king of the one man Wolfpack, Zack Galifianakis! Surprise the audience by putting a funny guy in the role. That really shakes thing up! SWD: KlausZack for the MF WIN!!
3. Stefan gets in tune with flashback “Lestat” Stefan: He had feeding oragies and was killing people left and right. That’s what we need to keep Elena alive. I don’t think his inner- Cullen can do the job. EC: One Edward is truly enough. Actually, one Robert Pattinson playing Jacob in Water for Elephants is…yum…ohh sorry lost track there. You mentioned Cullen and I immediately thought of the brilliant Patti…Water for Elephants. Right, bad Stefan. I like him better a little bad. We need him to find his inner Damon!SWD: Can we always refer to Rob as Patti, pretty please? 😉
4. Damon and Stefan team-ups: They’re doing this, in theory, but let’s see them snap some heads off together in a team effort. Remember the dead wolves in the woods? Yeah, me too. That was good. EC: And add in Alaric without the added Klaus. These three could make a great buddy movie! Hangover, Salvatore Brother style!
5. Elena gets pregnant: Just because it’d be funny. EC: Isn’t one demon baby enough? Oh wait, maybe Tyler can come back and imprint on it? Ugh and gross.
6. The girls wear flats: I know they all have supernatural strength, and calf muscles, but I want to see them in flip flops or Chucks, just for one week so I don’t have shoe envy. EC: I like flats because, like Bella, I’m clumsy. Those shoes the ladies of Mystic Falls like to wear make me thinkl of tripping and ultimately breaking my arm.
7.Elijah and Jenna make-out: He nuzzles up to her uber-glossy lips and she runs her fingers through his good boy hair. Pretty kissing pretty: WIN. EC: I would LOVE this. (SWD Update: Ummmm, after last weeks epi, *mumbles* I think I’m changing Jenna to Elena. Elijah is smitten with her. AND they put some product in his hair, no longer rendering him floppy!)
8. Caroline gets fed up with Matt: I know I was a big Matt advocate, but that was a few episodes ago, when he wasn’t the new “Mr. Pissy.” Speaking of the “Advocate”, this is how Caroline could get her revenge: Compel Matt to make out with Whiny (Jeremy). Bonnie catches them and has an emotional freak out, which turns into a wind storm, then an actual tornado that sucks them both off the show. And then that would make an opening for point #1. See full circle! EC: I’ll say it, I never liked Matt to begin with. Never saw the attraction and was never cared about him being on the show. Now that he has become “Pissy” and is messing with Caroline who I do like, I want him gone. I really like your idea, SWD! Now let’s talk about Whiny. He had gotten better and cuter! Why, oh why, did he have to get annoying again? This is really bothering me. Here’s a novel idea…new cute boys on this show STAT! New boys that won’t be killed off in the very next episode, either. That’s getting on my nerves, too. SWD: Yes! *suggests* reincarnate the 2 dead wolves, Mason and…. that other one that was cute, Brady, as vampires!
Maybe some of this happened last week, maybe some will happen Thursday. Who knows, eventually we’ll get all caught up on our VD… that sounds so wrong! EC: That really does sound bad. hee hee. Let’s think of it this way. We still love this show, but right now we are having some issues with our love. All television love, has it’s ups and downs. I even had some issues with Gilmore Girls, back in the day. Which is really painful for me to say! So, we will keep with it until the story picks up or Somerhalder takes off his shirt. Which ever comes first. (Fingers crossed, for the shirt.) …and what came up when I googled, “Big Gay Tornado”? THIS: