What Would Molly Ringwald Do?
posted by snowwhitedrifted (West Coast Stacey/ SWD) and East Coast Stacey (EC)
or how to handle teen romance love triangle drama
EC: I miss that little green car. It was goofy and peppy, just like the real Jon Cryer. Also, that mix CD that I made with my sister was epic in it’s 80’s goodness. It was full of GREAT music from Molly’s soundtracks. But those weren’t my favorite songs, because we also added music from John Cusack’s High Fidelity. Fabulous movie that introduced us to Mr. Jack Black. Plus, other than Molly who’s a better ambassador to the 80’s than Cusack? Nobody. (Forget Say Anything, I heart One Crazy Summer!)
Many of Molly’s perpetual high school characters have endured similar situations as Bella:
• (16 Candles). Impossible crush on the school’s heartthrob
SWD: Of course, both of them get the guy, but Molly has much more fun doing it. Does Molly drool and stare longingly at Jake Ryan? Well yes, but her bitch pout takes over and she plays it cool, sort of. Jake is smitten. When Bella drools over Edward, he looks annoyed. Her drooling reminds him of masticating and he just gets hungry. Molly/Samantha = Jake’s eyecandy whereas Bella=Edward’s Prime Rib.
EC: Also, Sam didn’t completely obsess over Jake. (Unlike Bella and Edward) She did the appropriate amount of crushing, while dealing with her sister’s crazy wedding. That girl’s birthday was FORGOTTEN! But did Sam complain about it! Nope. She tried to be okay with the situation. Miss Bella Swan? She got all bitchy about getting presents and a cake. Sure, Jasper tried to eat her, but Bella was just being ungrateful.
Don’t get me started if Mike Newton asked for Bella’s panties at the school dance. She would not be able handle that at all. Sam, on the other hand, had the appropriate amount of utter humiliation.
•(Pretty in Pink)Questionably fashion decisions as well as a co-workers unwelcomed affections .
Oh and was Duckie actually Mike Newton, not Jacob? No wait! Look at the hair…Eric Yorkie!
• (Breakfast Club). Is caught up in the mood swings of one attractive sociopath with an affinity for thermals
EC: If you combined Edward’s sociopath tendencies and jerky bossiness with Rob’s love of dumpster hobo wear you get…Judd Nelson in this movie!
Plus, Bella needs to own her inner snob. Claire does! (Even though she grows a heart by the end) Maybe, Bella wouldn’t be pushed around by Edward, Jacob, The Cullens, all the idiots at school, the flamboyantly dressed Volturi…if she found her inner mean girl. Not just rely on using her real power, the passive aggressive whining shield.
• (For Keeps). Has an “oops” baby with her high school sweetheart
SWD: Again, more smart kids who aren’t safety conscious? Hey guys, #BiologyWorks, pay attention.
EC: I am still annoyed by that Breaking Dawn demon baby. At least Molly didn’t have to drink a sippy cup of blood or have an Edward performed teeth c-section. Did I just spoil BD for you? Think of it as a public service announcement. You don’t want to go into THAT movie without being forewarned.
Would Molly have that demon baby? Maybe. She would, however, consider that delivering a demon baby would probably not be the best idea. See Bella, that’s called using your brain. You should try it sometime.
So Bella could learn something from Molly’s characters, since she did it all, 20 years earlier, with grace and sass, and some cool boots. But when in doubt,
…Molly says this:
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