What Would Molly Ringwald Do?

posted by snowwhitedrifted (West Coast Stacey/ SWD) and East Coast Stacey (EC)

or how to handle teen romance love triangle drama

 

Skip the Oxfords, Chuck, get some Rainbows. #WINNING
A few weeks back, when the madness of Charlie Sheen erupted, EC and I were texting about 2 and 1/2 men. I was ranting about Charlie’s shoes and that laced up, socked, footwear does not belong with the #CAuniform of bowling shirts and cargo shorts. Where were the flip flops? Which diverted to a discussion about Jon Cryer. EC informed me her first car was nicknamed, “lil’ Jon Cryer”. I called her #DuckieLover. She said it was a Ford Focus and the back of it had a duck’s butt, hence the name. She and her sister made a mix CD of 80’s music for it. I was jealous. Which led to us wanting to gorge ourselves on Molly Ringwald movies. Whereas EC informed me of the spectacular phrase “WWMRD” (What Would Molly Ringwald Do)?

EC: I miss that little green car. It was goofy and peppy, just like the real Jon Cryer. Also, that mix CD that I made with my sister was epic in it’s 80’s goodness. It was full of GREAT music from Molly’s soundtracks. But those weren’t my favorite songs, because we also added music from John Cusack’s High Fidelity. Fabulous movie that introduced us to Mr. Jack Black. Plus, other than Molly who’s a better ambassador to the 80’s than Cusack? Nobody. (Forget Say Anything, I heart One Crazy Summer!)

SWD: So true! John Cusack IS the yang to Molly’s yin!
   
Ahhhh the Molly Ringwald movies. We learned a lot about life, love, the delicate social politics to navigate the tempestuous waters of high school from these beloved 80’s flicks. It got me thinking, Bella needs a good dose of WWMRD!

 

EC: Here’s the deal about WWMRD. It’s a motto to live by for the ladies. Learn it, live it and (gosh darn it) embrace it, people! Which is why it’s the best motto for little Miss Swan to get through her thick skull.
 
 

Many of Molly’s perpetual high school characters have endured similar situations as Bella:

 

  
Jake makes a cake. I question Edward’s baking skills. What does he use for the “red” in “Red Velvet cake”?

(16 Candles). Impossible crush on the school’s heartthrob

The Edward, Bella, and puppy dog Jake of the 1980's

SWD: Of course, both of them get the guy, but Molly has much more fun doing it. Does Molly drool and stare longingly at Jake Ryan? Well yes, but her bitch pout takes over and she plays it cool, sort of. Jake is smitten. When Bella drools over Edward, he looks annoyed. Her drooling reminds him of masticating and he just gets hungry. Molly/Samantha = Jake’s eyecandy whereas Bella=Edward’s Prime Rib.

EC: Also, Sam didn’t completely obsess over Jake. (Unlike Bella and Edward) She did the appropriate amount of crushing, while dealing with her sister’s crazy wedding. That girl’s birthday was FORGOTTEN! But did Sam complain about it! Nope. She tried to be okay with the situation. Miss Bella Swan? She got all bitchy about getting presents and a cake. Sure, Jasper tried to eat her, but Bella was just being ungrateful.

Don’t get me started if Mike Newton asked for Bella’s panties at the school dance. She would not be able handle that at all. Sam, on the other hand, had the appropriate amount of utter humiliation.

(Pretty in Pink)Questionably fashion decisions as well as a co-workers unwelcomed affections .

The Edward, Bella, and puppy dog Jake of the 1980’s… hmmm
SWD: Well, it was the 80’s. Most fashion choices had consequences… like humiliating pictures 20 years later. But here again, Boy and girl have mutual like, with complications, and a colorful third wheel. I think it’s the pout. Molly perfected the power of the pout. Even Elena from Vampire Diaries uses this Ringwaldism for her character. It’s all Pretty in Pout.

EC: Let’s talk about the fashions. Andie in Pretty in Pink was a fashionista of the 80’s. Sure they are horrible now, but she was fashionable then. She designed her own. She was like Alice, not Bella. Those preppies, like Andrew McCarthy and James Spader couldn’t get enough of her crazy 80’s stylings! Bella could only handle plaid shirts, jeans and ill fitting hoodies. No wonder Alice was always dressing her! It was an act of fashion mercy.
 
 

However, Edward (book edition) was completely sporting the 80’s preppy look with his white, sleeveless button down, tan sweater and tan khakis. It is so horrible that if they actually filmed Pattinson wearing it, I would have been temporarily blinded by the poor fashion taste.
 

Oh and was Duckie actually Mike Newton, not Jacob? No wait! Look at the hair…Eric Yorkie!

(Breakfast Club). Is caught up in the mood swings of one attractive sociopath with an affinity for thermals

*sighs*……. The Edward, Bella, and puppy dog Jake of the 1980’s

EC: If you combined Edward’s sociopath tendencies and jerky bossiness with Rob’s love of dumpster hobo wear you get…Judd Nelson in this movie!

Plus, Bella needs to own her inner snob. Claire does! (Even though she grows a heart by the end) Maybe, Bella wouldn’t be pushed around by Edward, Jacob, The Cullens, all the idiots at school, the flamboyantly dressed Volturi…if she found her inner mean girl. Not just rely on using her real power, the passive aggressive whining shield.

 (For Keeps). Has an “oops” baby with her high school sweetheart

 
 

The Bella, Edward and Renesmee of the 1980's

SWD: Again, more smart kids who aren’t safety conscious? Hey guys, #BiologyWorks, pay attention. 

EC: I am still annoyed by that Breaking Dawn demon baby. At least Molly didn’t have to drink a sippy cup of blood or have an Edward performed teeth c-section. Did I just spoil BD for you? Think of it as a public service announcement. You don’t want to go into THAT movie without being forewarned.

Would Molly have that demon baby? Maybe. She would, however, consider that delivering a demon baby would probably not be the best idea. See Bella, that’s called using your brain. You should try it sometime.

So Bella could learn something from Molly’s characters, since she did it all, 20 years earlier, with grace and sass, and some cool boots. But when in doubt,

Molly says this:

 

An obscene finger gesture from such a pristine girl

Stew is getting the hang of it! THE Princess of Pristine

 And under no circumstances, should WWMRD be substituted with this:

not #WINNING

follow @talksupe on twitter.

 

 

 

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3 Responses to “What Would Molly Ringwald Do?”

  1. stitchlosmuertos Says:

    Oh my Ms Snow, you have owned me with this post. WWMRD is my new #winning

    Stitch

  2. Awesome Tshirt! A la SWD?

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