Vampire Diaries recap: Daddy Issues…

posted by snowwhitedrifted (West Coast Stacey/ SWD) and East Coast Stacey

…or the one where Damon gets really clean.

This manwich is gonna rumble

Tyler and Caroline. They kiss, they fight, he does nothing when she’s in trouble. Sounds like a typical teen romance, but with more bloodshed. I hate Tyler. Please get rid of him. Caroline, eat him, please. I loved when she “put the dog out”, finally! She had a rough episode and her gal pals came over to hug it out with a sleepover. As usual Caroline had cute outfits.

EC: Ahh…Pissy the little werewolf. I am over this wolf thing. What happened to the actual ‘big bad’ of the season, Klaus?

Even Northie goes to low

Steffy, you don't work at Hooters. Enough with the clevage.

Stefan’s Hoodie: I realized something, it’s not the hoodies, it’s that he is wearing improper under hoodie garments. He needs a crewneck. These super low v- necks are what’s throwing us off. Eric Northman wears the super low v’s too and even he looks a little douchey in them. No uber-low U or V or any letter necks, please.

EC: Ugh. I am not impressed with the boy v-necks. They need to head to the GAP and purchase some nice crewnecks. Oh and maybe, a nice sweater vest! No, wait…this isn’t GLEE and Mr. Shue.

Don't let this happen to you, Steffy. But the "V" in this picture is juuust right.

Crew please, stick with crewnecks. Or look at your emo vamp buddy, Rob . He does wear the v necks, but they aren’t low. They’re nice. Can’t you have him pick you up a 3-pack from Marks and Spencers? Sometimes it appears as if there is no shirt underneath. That’s just wrong. It reminds of when I get out of the shower, need to run down stairs to grab something out of the dryer, reach for my robe, but see that there’s a sleeping dog on it, opt for the hoodie on the floor instead. Not a fashionista look. You know who does hoodies well? Jasper Hale in the Cullen Fight Club scenes. Watch that film, Stefan. Even Whiny (Jeremy) does hoodies properly… he layers them. Tee. Check. Hoodie. Check. Flannel. check. Jacket. Check. Whiny is almost always a wardrobe WIN. However, along with Stefan, they do mess with Matt too. He was in an acid washed Edward-Cullen-in-Eclipse jean jacket! For shame, costumers, you’re on the list.

Jules, be Calgon and TAKE HIM AWAY

Jules and her wolf pack: So she wants to take Tyler away. DoitDoitDoit,Jules, please! NO ONE will mind. Anyway, Jules, we know she’s evil but dayumn!!!!! She has good taste in doggies!!! What was his name? I forgot. I guess it doesn’t matter because he’s attractive, and a wolf, so I’m sure he’ll get killed off pretty soon. C’mon Williamson, can’t you leave us with some continuous wolf candy? We see that he’s evil too, after Jules vervain-maced Caroline. He goes Black Jack Randall on Caroline and I feel badly about that but he’s still pretty.

EC: He is attractive, but no Mason. Mason, dear Mason had so much potential. For instance, romantic rival for Jenna’s affections. Alaric needs some conflict. (I do have a theory that Elijah might be used for that! SWD: Oh, that’s good!) I also have a to admit that I like evil Jules. Like I like evil Katherine. I, however, I didn’t like her when she was going to marry Lucas on One Tree Hill. Why is it that my tastes in movies and shows are that of a sixteen year old girl? I need to watch some Southland pronto! (Seriously, it is fabulous!) SWD: I just started Spartacus. It’s for adults, makes True Blood look mild.

New wolf mug, er muzzle shot

The Salvatores save the day: Stefan restrains Tyler and Damon wants to kill him. Again, see above DoitDoitDoit. There’s a vamp-wolf-Sharks-Jets rumble in the woods and (gasp) Stefan’s (now fully zipped, YAY!) hoodie gets staked. It lives. Briefly. But gives way to Stefans very nice closing scene outfit! Costumers are redeemed! For now.

EC: That scene was violent. Damon and the heart. Eww and gross. Also, another reminder of our old friend, Mason. *sniff, sniff*

John questions and observations: I forgot (and I didn’t see the last half of season 1), whose John? Elena’s daddy? Is John Whinys dad too? Why does Damon hate John? Does John have powers? John’s a close-talker. John is creepy. Jenna gave us some John lineage like: sister’s husband’s brother’s best friend’s dead wife’s… Sister wife uncle daddy brother. That’s some Big Love right there.

EC: John is Elena’s daddy, but also was her umm…uncle. Definitely, he’s 100 percent Whiny’s uncle, not daddy. Jenna’s brother-in-law and ex boyfriend or ‘sleep’ friend. It’s confusing. Big question here…can he be trusted? Note his interaction with Katherine. Dun, dun, dun!

Damon’s Bathing Habits: Gratuitous Damon shower in the opening credits. We’ll bite. Jenna introduces Damon to her “friend”… A Tranny. (EC: That’s not nice. It’s just her overuse of makeup. Hopefully. SWD: Or her Adam’s Apple. Maybe I’m just jealous of her ending scene. #BloodyDamonBubbles ) However, Damon takes revenge during his bathtub confessional.

EC: All that was is gratutious shots of Somerhalder. He should be offended for the environment! Nah…I was just pretending to be offended for him. Because I am nice like that. BTW…Williamson, you sure know how to get your ratings!

What, dear friends will happen next week? Hopefully, a shopping trip for some new Stefan shirts! (We can only hope!)


2 Responses to “Vampire Diaries recap: Daddy Issues…”

  1. New hottie wolf guy’s name on the show is Bradyummy! Well just Brady. SWD- my guilty pleasure is Spartacus!!! Love both versions!!!

    Andy Whitfield-yum!

    • (SWD) How many episodes do we give young Brady? I’m betting on 3.
      *sigh* How many left for Tyler? All of them. *sigh*

      Andy Whitfield, :). He will be making an appearance on here in the near future.

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