The Super Bowl is Football, Right?

posted by East Coast Stacey

Celebrity Fake Email Theater.

Well gang, it’s wicked cold in the North East. Snow, sleet and freezing rain is keeping us New Englanders inside by roaring fires, reading Outlander and watching LOTS of television. While WC Stacey (SWD) and her West Coast peeps are sipping ice tea at outdoor bistros, wearing flip flops and frolicking around Disneyland. Lucky girl! I hate you snow. Good thing for me it’s award season for our celebrity friends, which means pretty dresses, handsome men in tuxes and hurt delicate feelings by Ricky Gervais.  However, we know what they do at the awards. Drink expensive booze and talk about their ‘craft’. Instead let’s see what they’ll do for the Super Bowl. I’m sure it’s not Buffalo wings, nachos and Bud Light!DISCLAIMER: FAKE, FAKE, AND SUPER FAKE. FOR REAL, IT’S SUPER FAKE. If you didn’t figure it out with the last few of these posts…FAKE!Away we go!   

Subject: Super Bowl!
To: (The Guys)

From: plaidshirtvamp@att.net

Super Bowl Party! Nina and I are hosting a party to celebrate that Super Bowl. We’ll be having make your own pizzas on the grill, cocktails and Spinach Dip. I found the recipe in Everyday Food and it’s delicious! Feel free to bring a dish. Glee sing along afterwards! Your friend,
Paul

Subject: Super Bowl
To: plaidshirtvamp@att.net; (The Guys)

From: blueeyedenvironmentalist@hotmail.com

Told Nina, I’ll try to stop by. I’ll bring some dandelion wine and some organic tortilla chips. I need to stop by Ed Begley Jr.’s, but his T.V. is small and everyone has to take turns riding a bike to generate energy  to run it. Hey…what chicks did you invite?

Ian

Reuse, Renew, Recycle! Doin’ it Vamp Style in GA

Subject: So fun!

To: plaidshirtvamp@att.net; blueeyedenvironmentalist@hotmail.com

From: hotpockets4evah@att.net

Sounds jolly good, Paul! Who’s playing? Manchester United? Can I bring my boys? Tom has been mooning over Rachel Bilson, since they filmed that movie last year and she won’t return his call, so…he’s a bit put out. A cheer up is in order. Andrew wants to brag about the Golden Globes, so I need a buffer. Just wait until next year’s Oscars.  Water For Elephants is my in, Paul! Oscar gold! That wasn’t very nice. He’s my second best friend! :0(Hey can my friend, Bobby Long play some music along with the Glee television show? I think he can play Journey and some Britney Spears.We’ll bring you some Heineken and Hot Pockets. I bet they would be delicious with your spinach dip!

Your mate,
Rob

Subject: Super Bowl
To: hotpockets4eva@att.net; (The Guys)

From: blueeyedenvironmentalist@hotmail.com

Umm…it’s AMERICAN FOOTBALL, not soccer. You are bringing all of your friends? The little one? Spiderman? Music dude? What about the biker? Don’t you all do anything by yourselves?How about that Razzie?

Ian

Reuse, Renew, Recycle! Doin’ it Vamp Style in GA

Subject: So fun!

To: plaidshirtvamp@att.net; blueeyedenvironmentalist@hotmail.com

From: hotpockets4evah@att.net

Not nice, Ian. It’s all political. People just don’t understand Edward’s pathos! It’s all Bella’s fault!!! She cheats on him with Jacob. Edward doesn’t want to be angry. He’s disappointed in her. Listen, give me call and I will explain all the intricate points to my character.

Your mate,
Rob

Subject: Super Bowl
To:  hotpockets4evah@att.net

From: blueeyedenvironmentalist@hotmail.com

No.

Ian

Reuse, Renew, Recycle! Doin’ it Vamp Style in GA

Subject: Super Bowl!
To:  hotpockets4evah@att.net

From: plaidshirtvamp@att.net

Call me! I need to figure Stefan’s motivation. I keep putting him in plaid shirts and cardigans to show his sensitive side. Should I maybe add Tevas and hemp necklaces?Your friend,
Paul

Subject: Come over?

To: bluesweaterswede@gmail.com

From: annashubby@gmail.com

Would you like to come over and watch the DVDs I got from NetFlix on Sunday?  It is series four of Midsommer Murders . I also DVR’d Downton Abbey! Let me know I’ll bring out the Sherry! Anna’s meeting some friends at TGI Friday’s to watch that football game at the bar.
Stephen

Subject: Come over?

To: annashubby@gmail.com

From: bluesweaterswede@gmail.com

Fantastic! I’ll bring some tapas!
Alex

Subject: Cease and Desist
To: plaidshirtvamp@att.net

From: bluesweaterswede@gmail.com

For the last, LAST time, take me off your email list.

Alexander Skarsgard

Subject: Flag Football

To: plaidshirtvamp@att.net; blueeyedenvironmentalist@hotmail.com; hotpockets4eva@att.net; 100MonkeyMan@gmail.com

From: praisehim@aol.com

Hey guys! You want to come over and play some flag football before Paul’s’ shindig? It will be fun. I’ll be more careful this time. Sorry, I broke your thumb last time, Jackson. I kind of get into it. Then we can pray fro the safety of the teams playing!

Kellan
God loves football!

Subject: Superbowl Party
To: (The Boys)
From: plaidshirtvamp@att.net

Don’t forget guys, leave your shoes outside when you come into the house. It ruins the floors and I just buffed them!
Subject: Super bowl Concert

To: plaidshirtvamp@att.net; blueeyedenvironmentalist@hotmail.com; hotpockets4eva@att.net;  bluesweaterswede@gmail.com; annashubby@gmail.com
From: 100MonkeyMan@gmail.com
What’s up, my brothers! 100 Monkeys and I are going to give an alternate to the fine ladies on Super Bowl Sunday! We will be playing a gig at the Olive Garden on South Street. Taylor and his dad will be there, so it will be a chick fest.We will be having a contest of our own. Trying to be in the Guinness Book of Records for longest Bongos solo!  

I’ll put you on the list for free Banana Daiquiris!

Jack, the monkey man

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4 Responses to “The Super Bowl is Football, Right?”

  1. Snowwhitedrifed Says:

    Hahaha Jax’s long bongos! *typing in a t-shirt* -SWD

  2. This is just as epic as usual. Almost got me in trouble at work. Thank goodness for alt + tab. Maybe Kellan will do a pair prayer with me thanking God for that keyboard shortcut…

    Man, I really wish I could’ve joined Stephan and Alex for their Midsomer Murders marathon! May have had to bring my own scotch though, sherry’s not really ‘my thing’, but I make a good Spanish tortilla, so I’m sure they would’ve let me in.

    I love Paul.

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