No Sparkly Babies – True Blood vs. Vampire Diaries

posted by snowwhitedrifted (SWD/ west coast Stacey) and East Coast Stacey

 

 For part one of this post, check out our guest posting on letterstotwilight.com.

 This post began with this text:

 SWD: I forgot, on VampDi can they get preggers by vamp leche?

EC: No, they don’t have sparkly superpowered manhood like the Cullens.

  

We suck, like vampires are supposed to.

Ah, yes, proper vampire reproductive ettiquette that is also followed by True Blood. Which got us thinking, what are more similarities between real (did I just type “real” inreference to undead monsters?) vamp shows, Vampire Diaries and True Blood.

EC: Did you just say The Cullens weren’t real vamps? I hear Carlisle crying in the corner. When I hear the word vampire, the first thing I think is sparkles and fancy scarves!

Iconic undergarments

• Black Tank tops: As iconic for Eric Northman as the peacoat was for Mr. Cullen, the black tank has also been seen on Mr. Pissy (Tyler) Whiny (Jeremy) and Uncle Mason. Maybe his was gray, and it may have been more of a muscle tee, but anyway. Wardrobe similarities accentuating hourse of delt work.

EC: It’s a vast improvement over the tuxes and flamboyant capes from the days of old!

• Dingy basements/ sub dwellings with massive chain restraints. Well, they get more creatively used on True Blood (Yvetta will agree), but the Vamp Di wolves have also used their Mystic Falls version for restraining themselves. With True Blood, however, we viewers have to restrain ourselves from jumping through the tv when Eric is using such instruments.

EC: Have you noticed, this goes for Twilight vamps too, that True Blood is the only show that makes the vampire characters sleep during the day in dirt graves. If they don’t they get nosebleeds. Eww. Even Eric can’t make that look sexy.

 

 

Pin the dress forms on the witch

• Badass witches. Witches do damage, witches kick vampire ass on Vampire Diaries and they will be important on True Blood, come season 4. Their excursions will take them beyond the odd acid-y V trips for Lafayette and Jesus.

EC: I love Bonnie and her cute outfits, but the best witch has to officially go to Lafayette! Even his clothing is magical.

 •The unrequited, “just friends” character. Vampire Diaries has Whiny (Jeremy) pining after Bonnie and getting witch blocked by the other boy witch. We know it will end badly and Bonnie will run off to someones arms. Will it be Whiny’s? He does, after all, have rather nice arms to run into now, or will it be Damon. We vote Damon, ’cause that’d be hot and I think it’d bug Elena, And that would be good tv. Our piner on True Blood is Sam. Sookie is the main object of his affection, but he has also been jilted by Tara and that chick who shifted into a deer and died. Sorry Sam. But maybe your recent rage and booze fueled binders will get you some tail… and we don’t just mean another Bambi. 

 

 

 

Shifter Style

 

EC: Sam needs a lady. Bonnie just needs Damon. I like to pretend that the showrunners come to me for advice. So Kevin Williamson, just like Pacey and Joey on Dawson’s Creek, just DO it! I have said my peace on the matter.

• Legal wolf pack: We don’t really care about Mr. pissy (Tyler) and the other wolf girl or Debbie Pelt and her Cooter. Alcide and Uncle Mason (R.I.P. *sniff*) are the only ones that count.

wolf6pack, nice moonstones

• Epic shirts. Sam again. You know we Staceys love us some Sam shirts,but Witch Bonnie makes great wardrobe choices as well. In almost every post, we mention some sort of cute Bonnie garment. Damon also can rock the dark tees and button downs like nobody’s business.

Rockin'

EC: Sam’s shirts need to be trademarked. Can I also say for the millionth time that Stefan needs new clothes. I will happily give the costume ideas to the wardrobe department. Just look at the fantastic Damon ensembles. I do constantly! Also, besides Eric’s pretty blue sweater his bada bing tracksuits NEED TO GO! (Back home to New Jersey and Tony Soprano)

Fangtasia is the Bada Bing of True Blood

•These vampires do Bad Things, and that’s what they’re supposed to do. They’re freakin vampires. They should be draining, pillaging, fornicating, back stabbing, and not apologizing for it. Thank goodness for owning up to your true natures, Damon, Eric, Talbot, Katherine, Russell, Sophie-Anne, and Pam. C’mon Stefan, Bill, and even Jessica… you’re slacking a little. Although you ehrm, are doing well in the, ehrem, ummm, getting down to business department.

EC: Bill was kind of bad this season. They tried to make Stefan bad a little bit too. But here’s the thing, you have to have heroes somewhere. I mean we love them and all, but their job is to be steadfast and lame.

*Thinks* Forks is feeling a little too flat for me. And hey, SWD has this shirt!

•Cleavage. Female and male. The chests be a flauntin’ on both of the shows. These vamps and humans and “others” know how to show off their special endowments. This is why both men and women watch these shows. Maybe Jessica Stanley should escape from Forks and visit Bon Temps or Mystic Falls. In the books, Sookie’s boobs are their own character and have their own plotlines. So does Eric’s hair, but that’s fuel for another post.

EC: These show do love their cleavage! The word boob makes me laugh. That and the fact these shows sometimes make their characters act like ‘boobs’.

SWD: Well, they’re shows are on the boob tube, afterall.

Eric's Book Hair. Kind of looks like Sookie's. I wonder if they use the same shampoo?

Did I over Eric? Sorry, I haven’t googled him for so long, I got carried away. I miss you viking! So to make up for my plethora D’Eric, here’s a gratuitous Damon for EC:

Mornin'

 

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