Vampire Diaries Recap: By the Light of the Moon aka “The Promo Department is a Lying Tease”
Posted by East Coast Stacey
*Spoiler alert! What do you mean you haven’t watched it yet! *
Hey another day in Mystic Falls! Adventure! Drama! Fake Mind Game Hookups! Too Much Pissy the Werewolf!
EC: Why do the keep teasing us with videos of dearly departed Mason? It’s just cruel!
SWD: I think they’ll reincarnate him somehow. He doesn’t really need a heart. Plenty of men live without them.
EC: Okay Vampire Diaries promo department…tease the audience much? I was expecting our Stefan to get an exciting bad boy storyline. But, no. Stefan IS like Edward Goody Two-Shoes Cullen. Yes, Stefan went off the wagon for awhile and stopped eating bunnies, but really he needs some more angst, Now, on the other hand, we have True Blood Bill who completely went to the dark side, I am still trying to block out that ‘scene’ with Lorena, I like that drama of the Bill situation, but that ‘scene’ was just gross. (I miss True Blood! Is it summer yet?) Maybe, Stefan’s cardigans just won’t let him be bad ass. Katherine picked the wrong brother.
SWD: Yes, let’s blame the cardis. But Bill still went bad ass in his henleys… and Eric was super bad ass in his blue sweater. And those are mild-mannered garments. I think it’s just Stefan.
EC: Poor Elena. Stuck in the house, probably bored watching revamped 90210 and One Tree Hill with her face all pouty. You know what would be fun? Bonnie putting a perma-grin on her face. Elena would feel cranky, but would have an idiotic grin plastered on. Also, on the topic of One Tree Hill, girl wolf who is not named Leah was ON One Tree Hill as Lucas’s fiancée! I am such a teenage girl.
SWD: Perma-grin, eh? Are you saying Elena should smoke some vervain?
EC: I like the Caroline and Stefan buddy comedy show, I like the Caroline and Matt young romance. I do fast forward Caroline and Pissy. That’s not completely true. I did push play to see how much skin the CW could get away with showing during Pissy’s cave time.
SWD: Ha ha, and did you notice his reference to his track pants for easier shifting? He wore “Trorts!”
EC: Yay Alaric! I missed him. Pretend drunk Alaric? Smooth friend Damon? Oh those two silly boys! They would have been better off pretending to be a couple! Girls always open up to cute gay guys, They should try that next time! I did like wolf girl’s line about ‘marking’ Damon. I could see him being into that in other circumstances.
SWD: I kept thinking…. “ a vampire, a weregirl, and a ……… walk into a bar “ Wait, what’s Alaric? I need to give him a title to finish my joke. Anyway, it kind of made me want to order a rum and wolfsbane next time I’m in a bar. I bet it’d taste like Jager.
EC: Luka and Bonnie are cute! They made ‘fireworks”. Aww… The question is whether he’s a good or bad boy. Plus, there’s always sweet, danger magnet Whiny to think of. This reminds me of the classic teen television show Sabrina the Teenage Witch. The episodes where Melissa Joan Hart has to choose between Harvey and Turk from Scrubs. Alright, I am a lame teenage girl.
SWD: I didn’t see that one. Please say she picked Turk. Isn’t the other guy “Twist” from the Fresh Beat Band?
EC: Elijah, Elijah, Elijah. You tricky vampire you! Still can’t figure out his deal. Elena is trusting him is probably a dumb idea. It did get her boy out of his prison with Katherine, so…let’s risk our life to play tonsil hockey with our boyfriend. That girl!
SWD: Elijah is growing on me. I like his tricker ways to get invited into the Gilbert home. He goes for the weak link, Jenna, knowing she has no willpower in the presence of pretty.
EC: Poor Alice 2.0! She became wolf girl’s chew toy. The scene with Damon was kind of nice in a sad way. He was all smoldering and she was putty in his arms. I can see how she could somewhat disrespect herself for a 30 something guy (I mean Civil War era) who loves a teenager. Then the poor girl’s back got all disgusting! Eww…it looks like we’ll have more images of that to come.
SWD: No kidding! The wee mad she-wolf is vicious. It really is her time onf the month. Is she going to be Mr. Pissy’s mentor? Will Caroline, aka Vampire Barbie have to protect him?Don’t forget…Vampire Diaries all this week! It’s like CW is giving us Damon for Christmas!
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