You’ve Got Mail: Beginning of the Holiday Season Edition

posted by East Coast Stacey

It’s December again, friends. Time for addressing Christmas cards, caroling off key, pushing through crowded malls and drinking too much eggnog at the annual holiday party. In honor of the season and back by popular demand (in my head)…You’ve Got Mail.

DISCLAIMER: Alrighty kids…this isn’t real. These email addresses DO NOT belong to any of these individuals. Though it would be hilarious if they did. Also, I do not think any of the actors mentioned act in any way like we write them. In fact, I have a sneaky suspicion they are all outstanding and intelligent individuals, that hopefully have a huge sense of humor. It’s just funnier to write this way. Also, those cardigans they stick on poor Paul are just the most amusing things.

Subject: Christmas Party
From: praisehim@aol.com

To: Twilight Cast

Hey everybody! Just sending an invite to all of you a holiday party! If you can bring anything, that would be fantastic! We need liter bottles of Sprite, pretzels and candy canes are ALWAYS welcome. Also, feel free to bring your friends. The more the merrier!

WWJD,
Kellan

The Reason For The Season Party

Come join us to celebrate the true reason for Christmas! We will be singing carols praising him and enjoying holiday goodies.

Where:
The New Gospel

134 Green Street

(In the shopping plaza next to the Fashion Barn)

When:
December 14, 2010

Time:

5 P.M. to 8 P.M.

 

Subject: FWD: Christmas Party
From: hotpockets4eva@att.net

 To:  blueyedenvironmentalis@hotmail.com, bluesweaterswede@gmail.com, plaidshirtvamp@att.net, annashubby@gmail.com

Good morning blokes!

Would any of you like to attend this party with Tom and I? It should be a jolly good time! I think I will be bringing a case of Heineken, maybe also a bag of chips. Let me know if you wish to attend, so I can let Kellan know!

Your mate,
Rob

Subject: FWD: Christmas Party
From: blueyedenvironmentalis@hotmail.com

To: hotpockets4eva@att.net  bluesweaterswede@gmail.com  plaidshirtvamp@att.net  annashubby@gmail.com

No way, nerd. Huge party at Ed Begley Jr’s. Homemade dandelion wine, Bill Nye doing some awesome science tricks and hippie environmental girls dancing to the Grateful Dead. You aren’t invited.

I don’t think your beer is going to be much appreciated at a church function. You might want to bring some Newman’s Organic Lemonade.

Oh did you get your Christmas gift yet?

-Ian

BTW: Reuse, Renew and Recycle Bitches and Real Vamps Don’t Sparkle

Subject: FWD: Christmas Party
From: hotpockets4eva@att.net

To: blueyedenvironmentalis@hotmail.com

Not nice about the vamp thing, Ian! Oh and I did get the Nicorette gum and lollipops. The picture of the cancerous lung was a lovely touch.

It’s a church party? Huh. It should still be fun. Tom and I can hide bottles in our cargo pants!
Oh…Jackson wants to know if you would go with him to a confederate reenactment of a holiday party. You can wear your costume from the show. He wanted me to add there will be some fine petticoats there.

Subject: Confederate Christmas Party
From: blueyedenvironmentalis@hotmail.com

To: 100MonkeyMan@gmail.com

Jackson- I am in! I can’t stay away from a room full of hoop skirts! Time and place, my man!

-Ian

BTW: Reuse, Renew and Recycle Bitches

Subject: Confederate Christmas Party
From:100MonkeyMan@gmail.com

To:blueyedenvironmentalis@hotmail.com, annashubby@gmail.com

Ian-

You said it man, Hoops and whale boning at 7 on the 7th.  Stephen’s got the uni too so I’m including him, although his riffle may be otherwise engaged.

-Jax

*upcoming 100 Monkeys Show live at the CocoBongo 12/23/10

Subject: FWD: Christmas Party
From: bluesweaterswede@gmail.com

To: hotpockets4eva@att.net plaidshirtvamp@att.net  annashubby@gmail.com  blueyedenvironmentalis@hotmail.com

No. I will be attending the grownup True Blood holiday party. Where there will be grownup drinking and grownup conversation.

Stephen- Carpool?

-Alex

Subject: FWD: Christmas Party
From: annashubby@gmail.com

To: bluesweaterswede@gmail.com

Alex, that sounds lovely. Could you perhaps help me convince Anna, that there WILL NOT be Jell-O shots at this event. She is under the impression that this will be a bacchanalian event. Thanks ever so much…

Subject: FWD: Christmas Party
From plaidshirtvamp@att.net

To: hotpockets4eva@att.net  bluesweaterswede@gmail.com  plaidshirtvamp@att.net  annashubby@gmail.com  blueyedenvironmentalis@hotmail.com

Hey Rob!

I’ll be there! Can I bring anything? I have a great gingerbread cookie recipe. It’s off the hook! May I bring Nina? She loves caroling!!! See you there!

Your friend,
Paul

Subject: FWD: Christmas Party
From plaidshirtvamp@att.net

To: degrassigirl456@hotmail.com

Nina!

Rob Pattinson invited us to a holiday party! Can you believe it! Want to go to the mall and pick out new outfits? I will treat you to lunch at Au Bon Pain! I know how you love their sandwiches!

Ohh…shouldn’t you change your email?

Subject: FWD: Christmas Party
From: degrassigirl456@hotmail.com 

To: plaidshirtvamp@att.net 

Sounds fabulous! Let’s get matching outfits! Sbarro’s instead? I have a need for pepperoni pizza. Playing Katherine ALWAYS makes me hungry.

Yeah…I should probably change my email name. VampDichick? Hottievampy? Ugh. Let me think about it.

Follow @talksupe on twitter

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5 Responses to “You’ve Got Mail: Beginning of the Holiday Season Edition”

  1. These always make me giggle. And i think it’s by popular demand for real, not just in your head!

    That avi of Paul looks like he’s taking a painful dump. Haha.

    I wanna go to the Trueblood party… I do like caroling… um, in my car. Alone. I guess that defies what caroling actually is.

    • Those crack me up too. I wish East Coast Stacey could write all of my emails! (I usually just do the avi’s on these)

      …that is EXACTLY why I picked that Paul Avi.

      Let’s crash the True Blood party! I’ll grab Lafayette who has all the V we could need.

      • ^ that was written by me SWD/snowwhitedrifted/ west coast stacey. BTW

      • I surmised it was you 😉

        Question: I missed the first half of season 1 of VampDi. How do they explain that the Salvatore brothers are back in town, but that Stefan is in high school. Who is his legal guardian?

        • EC: Damon killed off Stefan’s “Guardian” in season 1. Actually the poor guy was like their great nephew or something like that. I also think Damon is older, so not pretend high school age. Plus, handsome is in his 30’s, so it would be weird if he was in high school. Maybe, if he was a teacher…

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