Vampirisim “The Fountain of Youth”… gimme a Drink!
posted by WestCoastStacey/snowwhitedriftd (SWD)
I was perusing the Perez the other day and was taken aback by some photos. Now, I am aware that we all age, but I really never thought Uma Thurman and Leo DiCaprio would never look a day over 22.
EC: Those two are getting OLD! Have you seen Chris O’Donnell? Okay he just got better looking than that poster I had of him.
But now, they, well, they look like adults. This brought the issue I have been struggling with to a head. I too, am no longer a spring chicken (and that fact that I just used the term “spring chicken” to describe age… well) I have always looked a lot younger than my age
EC: Me, too! Holla!
SWD: (yes I still get carded, but it is less frequently) but this year something changed. Was it going back to work full time ? Was it the daily mom struggles of having a wee one in preschool? Was it just the crappy air of SoCal and an overintake of wine? (EC:You need the frigid air of the Northeast. It keeps you frozen like a Cullen) No, I don’t think so. It was vampires. Yes, vampires have “aged” me. Why? How? Well, after spending this past year reading, commenting, googling in my free time “vampires” that are 100’s of years old, but look like marble statues, I have become jealous of the youthful appearance of the undead. Asshats!
I was perfectly content, in my former life, hanging out with my friends of the same age still thinking we all still looked like we were in college.
EC: You do, silly
SWD: But not now. Now I see the fine lines on my face and the aging stars from my generation face’s, becoming permanent,
many a gray hair now and again, the chin skin changing. Well, maybe it’s also due to the fact that within this past year I a) got a super magnifying light up make up mirror, and b) we got a high quality HD flatscreen (like Charlie, hey where’s my Rainier beer?). Plus I eat a lot of carrots and therefore have good eyesight. Maybe that is why one’s vision worsens as they get older- to not see the newly acquired physical flaws in themselves or their partners? Hmmmm. Nah, I blame the really pretty vampires that I have been fixated on as of late.
In Eclipse, Rosalie goes off on how lucky Bella is that “… (Bella) will change and grow old. How she would love to see Emmett gray haired on a porch swing….” Well, easy for your 22 year old ass to say. I would have said the same thing at that age, but no, Rosalie, come talk to me when you buy your first container of Oil of Olay Superduty night cream, sensible shoes and “park pants” for comfort.
EC: Rosalie would go nuts after the first wrinkle. Poor human Emmett, would be paying up the wazzo for “beauty treatments” at the local plastic surgeons for Mrs. Rose.
I can get why Bella wants to get changed. She doesn’t want to be the old cougar crone hovering over Edward’s young bones. If she aged, together they’d look like a portrait from Disneyland’s Haunted Mansion. May- December romance, hell that’s December and May on a Mayan calendar. What I don’t get is the “I want to marry you and only you at age 18 for the rest of eternity”. Oh hell no, just change her, let her be the lovely, young vixen to torment the male society for generations to come. Why waste all the newly secured hottness on one (inexperienced) dude? OK, I digress (and apparently I would be a total vamp hookuh). I say, Hey Bella, get changed now by one of those vamps, hell even a Volturi would do for that deed, and then LIVE a LITTLE! Eat some people, seduce rockgods and movie stars, be on magazine covers without having to have an eating disorder or be airbrushed… Once the newness wears off, and you’ve completed your Vampire Bucket List then get hitched to ‘ol Eddie. But AFTER you buy your first tube of “Regenerist Deep Wrinkle Cream” THEN it’s time to settle down (before it all really goes to pot). Oh wait, you’ll be eternally young, and won’t even have the opportunity to buy that. Ugh, which brings me back to my first point. Damn you Vampires and getting to stay a perpetual youth.
EC: You are totally forgetting that Bella and Edward are all about the romance. That’s why she let’s him freeze her out of all the sexytimes. If she wanted wild, she would be hanging out with Jake and the wolfpack. Supposedly, those silly nudist puppies like to party on the Res. Just keepin’ it real.
SWD: That’s true. I forget her naive romantic 19 year old soul. Again, youth wasted on the young. She’s not tempted to whoop it up at all with the wolfpack? Ugh, maybe change wolfpacks… to something more carnally tempting? Alcide? Uncle Mason .. oh wait.. *sniff*
SWD: True, Peter Facinelli and Elizabeth Reaser are my age… but they play the parents of high schoolers. Ugh…. PARENTS! I’m parental age, yuck! Oh look Drew Barrymore (36, like me) still looks the same…. what’s the make up company she spokeswoman’s for? I’m buying! Hey Drew, we still have a few months of laugh line free livin’ to do!
EC: Sarah Michelle Gellar (Buffy) is 33 (like me!). Alyson Hannigan (Willow) is 36 as is Seth Green. Our favorites Ian Somerhalder (Damon) is the ripe old age of 32 (almost 33) as is Matt Davis (Alaric). Alexander Skarsgard (Eric) is 34, Stephen Moyer (Bill) is 41 (What!?!) and Sam Trammell (Sam) is 39. Sure Pattinson is a spring chicken at 24, but don’t the rest of these ages fill you with joy? Maybe it’s just me and my sunny disposition!)
SWD: Yes, it could be your sunny disposition… but check in again in 3 years… on the other side of 35 *winks* And wait, Damon and Alaric are the same age? Whoa. Ian looks 25.. hey wait a minute … *smiles* things are looking up
Cursing 18 year olds playing 150 year olds and making me feel old,
Snowwhitedrifted/ West Coast Stacey