It’s a Beautiful Day in… Stefan’s Closet
posted by West Coast Stacey (WC)/ snowwhitedrifted (SWD)
Vampire Diaries recap: Episode 7 “”Masquerade”
Yeah, yeah, yeah spoliers and stuff.
WC: So this episode starts out with the Vampire Summit meeting. Catherine confronts Caroline in the bathroom. “Gotta meetin’ in the ladies’ room… be back real soon.” Caroline relays Katherine’s “Give me the moonstone at the masquerade party” message back to the other vamps. One glaring aspect that needs to be discussed: Stefan’s wardrobe choice. A black and white checkered lumberjack shirt and a button front cardigan. Oh Ward Cleaver, is that supposed to add an air of authority or irony to “You’re not going to kill her because I am.” How very wonder twins of you Salvatore bros.
EC: I kept hearing the Mr. Rogers theme song when I saw Stefan’s nifty cartigan. I wonder if he likes hanging out with trolley and King Friday. Then Damon comes over and eats all of the puppets in the kingdom. That wouldn’t be a beautiful day in the neighborhood.
WC: Then we get an introduction to a new character: Butchwitch appears in Katherine’s room. She ends up being Katherine’s date to the masquerade party. This is curse breaker witch. She’s going to bust some moonstone.
EC: Whoa…is she’s Kath’s girlfriend. There were some, you know, vibes there. Then again, I was listening to some Ani DiFranco. It makes me feel like I am down with the lesbians.
WC: Mmmmm, men with weapons. Alaric shows the vamps his array of stake-’ems. Everyone’s in on it except Elena and Aunt Jenna. Oh and Matt, well, he’s part of another plot so he’s kind of in the mix too, although he’s compelled not to know. Alaric will be babysitting Jenna and Elena. Damon is worried people will back out of staking Katherine. Caroline says. “She killed me first, fair’s fair”. Finally, we have some WonderPets type “teamwork”.So we have Damon, Stefan, Caroline, Bonnie, Whiny and Alaric’s weapons and they still can’t easily kill Katherine? Tsk tsk.
EC:It’s like Cullen Fight Club training, without the super special matching outfits picked by Alice. I want Alice to pick their clothes. At least, lumberjack Stefan’s clothes.
WC: However all of these people going to the party without Elena get her panties in a bunch. Which means she interferes and messes things up. Well, at least when she snuck out to the party, it left Jenna and Rick with,a-hem, some alone time.
EC: Of course, Elena screws the plan up and interferes. It wouldn’t be Elena, if she didn’t. She’s trying to SAVE her friends, which means mess it up and put everyone’s lives in mortal danger. You go, girl!
WC: That’s soooo Bella of her.
WC: Tyler and his mom. I’m uncomfortable. when he gives her his, “I’m sorry for being such a dick…” speech. Ummmm, who has that much eye contact when talking with their mom? He talks to her like she’s one of his mom’s cougar friends-on-the-prowl, not his own mom. Bad casting with these two. I’m pretty sure they’re playing hide the moonstone under the craft services table.
EC: Bwahahaha! Also, Tyler doesn’t apologize. It goes against his pissy personality. Silly Tyler.
WC: More boozing with annoying girls. Tyler is still trying to hook up with that same one .His fake mom isn’t going to like this. Well, uh, after Katherine messes with her spine, Vamp Russell Eddington style, she’s not going to be a problem anymore.
Whew. But how do you remove a dead body from a crowded dance floor? People notice that stuff. Believe me. I have tried to remove overly drunk friends from dance floors, it’s not easy. Well, this is a party full of uppity white people, dancing. I am thinking a lifeless lump wouldn’t be as noticeable as I first thought.
Well at least the Matt plot works and Tyler finally kills annoying girl number 2. And Matt is fine, that’s good, we need Matt, for additional blond fluff. Kind of like Jason Stackhouse.
EC: Finally, a reason for little bimbos 1 and 2. I was just getting annoyed that they were hanging around each week. Made my finger twitchy to hit the fast forward button. Luckily, that won’t be a problem anymore.
WC: So what’s with this Bonnie and Whiny flirtation? I know I got a little distracted in the beginning of the episode with his new grown up man arms, but he is still the ever present younger brother. Even if he does say, “I’m not a kid anymore Bonnie” and “If I were a witch I do a sex spell”. Now what does that mean? It’s creepy, Whiny, you’ll always be a freshman to us. So Whiny is kind of digging Bonnie, but ButchWitch also seems to have a connection to Bonnie. Turns out they’re related. I think ButchWitch is sad, see the fact that they’re kissin’ cousins really left a black spot on her grimmoire.
EC: Why, Williamson, Why? You have chemistry GOLD with Bonnie and Damon. Ugh. Whiny’s arms were quite impressive…must stop…where’s Alaric?
Another point that I would like to add after mentioning Alaric, when Damon is hanging with the big kids, you know actors his own age (30’s), it makes me happy. When Damon is macking on pretend high schoolers, not so much. New witch, might be a good addition to the big kids group…must ponder this…
WC:Katherine and the over use of the “you look hot in a suit”. Stefan… Matt… Damon, the caterer, a picture of dead Mayor Lockwood, a small penguin artifact. How could she tell one “dashing’ suit from another? They all matched… like an entire sea of “Blues Brothers” but they wore masks instead of Raybans.
EC: I guess suits make her undead self ‘hot’.
WC:Oh look, after vampire fight club, Elena gets hurt since ButchWitch linked Elena and Katherine. Nice ploy. See Elena, if you stayed home, you wouldn’t have messed up the plan. Ugh didn’t she think they were up to something she wasn’t a part of? Not everyone is invited to the popular girl’s sleepover, sweetie… someone needs to stay home and get toilet papered. How convenient that Bonnie can cast a pseudo-morphine spell. Why isn’t she selling that service on the black market? #noEvidence
EC: Once again, Bonnie shows how she is awesome and Elena…well she’s a pretty girl. It’s like Bella and Alice. Alice is awesome and Bella…cute kid. Now Sookie, can be both! Except, she does make unfortunate clothing choices…huh…maybe it’s a wash with these heroines.
I do like the Bon Temps tee. Oh wait, that’s actually Jason’s. Sookie just wears it for half of the season because the costume designer got locked up by the fashion police for putting Eric in “the red shoe diaries”.
WC: OK, back to vamp dia… Now why don’t they just stake Katherine when the link spell is broken?
EC: Because, she’s awesome.
WC:Oh, and I’m still not clear as to why she wants the stupid moonstone except that this little interaction with the bros Salvatore reveals that she’s been stalking Stefan for a while. She says she followed him to a Bon Jovi concert in 1997. 1997? That’s a time when Stefan shouldn’t be at a Bon Jovi concert. Since, well, it’s Bon Jovi. Oh wait, he’s emo, I can kind of see it now.
EC: THen shouldn’t he have been at a grunge concert? Like Pearl Jam or Sound Garden? Is Stefan just a dork? Wait a sec…cartigan. Yep, he is.
WC: Damon wouldn’t have been caught dead (or alive) there. Get it? That dumb joke is 2 fold. So they lock Evil Katherine away and when she gets out all of her new clothes will be out of style.
EC: Good jokes there, lady! But, of course Katherine will be back soon. Who else is going to create carnage around Mystic Falls. Damon sure isn’t. Cute stuff is getting soft. But wait…who’s the dude in the mask?!? He better be attractive and evil, you took Mason away from us. (I still might be a little upset.)
So who’s the guy in the mask? What did you all think of Bonnie’s witchy cousin? Let us know. Also, follow us on twitter @talksupe, for updates and random news on your favorite supernatural shows and movies!