Vampire Diaries Recap: Not the Eye Candy, Kevin Williamson!

Vampire Diaries Recap: Not the Eye Candy, Kevin Williamson!
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posted by East Coast Stacey

Vampire Diaries Recap: “Plan B”

*This has spoilers. You should probably watch it first if you don’t want to know. HAVE TISSUES READY!*

Gone Fishin'. Having a Goonies flashback...the well, that sweater. "Oh Andy (Caroline), you Goonie"

Hello, Vampire Diaries watching friends! Have you fully recovered from last night’s episode? No? We haven’t either… You go from nothing last week and watching the live episode of 30 Rock, to the craziness of Mystic Falls this week. Wow…just wow.

EC: Let’s get this party started, shall we? I can happily say, as a disclaimer, that I DVRed Vampire Diaries and watched NBC’s comedy lineup first. This was a good thing, due to when I was getting upset I would go into to my head and think of The Office, where John Kranski was having scenes with Timothy Olympant as rival paper men. They were so cute and funny. That way I wouldn’t be crying my way through a box of darn tissues. Disclaimer over. We start the Vampire Diaries episode right with two romantic interludes: Elena and Stefan, Katherine and Mason. Aww…contrasting romance. Which made me think of the most glaring difference between Vampire Diaries and Twilight. Yes…the two leads of both series, while you do get attached to them are both sometimes insipid and clueless. You love them anyway, but you do want to throttle them most times. The difference? In Twilight, sexual situations are taboo. Teenagers have those ‘feelings’, but don’t act on them. Vampire Diaries, well, they act on them, they certainly do. I’m a mother, so I might be starting to feel some conflict, but I WAS a teenager who watched Dawson’s Creek and Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Maybe, things really haven’t changed that much…

SWD: Now, the whole having-your-boyfriend-sleep-over-and-having-morning-nookie-in-your-bed scene just bugs me. She’s still 17. Aunt Jenna is in the next room. Ew. On the flip side. Uncle Mayo had a rather large back tattoo, wings of some sort. We didn’t get a good look. It was on his lower back. What’s a guy “tramp stamp” called? Oh, just a tattoo

Let's call Kat Von D, get the scoop on the tramp stamp wing Tat

EC: Another Mystic Falls party? They never learn…plus, this town has an event like every week. Do they ever, I don’t know…stay in and watch a movie? Listen…the Lockwood mansion is blaring the Black Keys during party set up. Mama Cougar Lockwood doesn’t seem the type. But wait…strapping young men are setting up for the event. Oh boy, I see her plan now…
SWD: Ditto!

A rival to the Rob brow

EC: Let’s just jump into the topic of Bonnie this episode. She has been missed. The chemistry between her and Damon is electric. I know the books never had Bonnie and Damon together, but here me out. First, Bonnie was from what I remember blond and bubbly. I also don’t think she was a witch. Plus they had a whole other character, I think named Meredith who was a student sleeping with teacher Alaric. Major changes to start with.
SWD: Bonnie’s eye makeup was looking fab this episode, but they went a little too MAC artistry on the eyebrows. They looked to witch-y. Ohhhh, I get it.

EC: Second, Elena and Damon have zero chemistry. Katherine and Damon oodles of chemistry. However, that ship has sailed. Bonnie and Damon, are an amazing pair. You know what they say about love and hate. Plus, it’s cute how he calls her, “Judgey”.
SWD: What are we on, epi 5? (EC: Nope epi 6) I still say bow-chicka-bow-bow in epi 10 for those two.

EC: Of course, once she finds out…what Damon did…I am not ready to discuss that yet. Where’s my tissues. * sniff * All bets are off!
SWD: *sniff*

EC: The Brothers Salvatore remind me of the Hardy Boys when they try to figure things out. Elena can be their Nancy Drew. Hmm…that won’t work. She completely, outed her relationship with Stefan to Katherine. Dumb. Bonnie? Could work. Alaric, can be their Nancy Drew! He seems to have more brain cells than the both of them combined.

SWD: Alaric is the Hercule Poirot to their Hardy Boys.
EC: There was a whole lot of Whiny the Vampire Slayer in this. He wasn’t very *ahem* helpful in a certain scene. *sniff, sniff* That’s all I got.

All eyes on the Big Ragoo!

SWD: There was! But when Elena asked him to…do something… he manned up and told her to pound sand. Good job whiny, you grew some moonstones!
EC: When about to jump into a well, Stefan, I suggest you check it first. For that matter, you too Elena. What was I saying earlier about brain cells? Thank goodness for Caroline and Bonnie. We need a spin-off for these to ASAP! Oh god…a snake! That was scarier than the vampires.
SWD: Caroline and Bonnie spinoff! Yes, like Laverne & Shirley! Stefan and Damon will be Lenny and Squiggy! Alaric can be Carmine… They’ll work in a TruBlood brewery.
EC: That would be…wait for it…legendary! (I just watched How I Meet Your Mother)

EC: Stefan vervain face was yucky. Eww.

BurningMan

Pan seared, sauteed, and extra crispy

SWD: Yes, icky…. but still not as brutal as Bill Compton season 1 sunlight, or Eric w/ Russell. I think True Blood ruined us for gore, cause once you see charred Russell, pan seared Stefan isn’t so bad.

EC: Not Aunt Jenna! I almost dropped the glass of water I was drinking when she stabbed herself. That Katherine is one sneaky lady.
SWD: I know. I was thinkig earlier, when she sasy to Alaric, “You’re good with that (knife)” I was thinking, “no he isn’t. That isn’t how you chop/ slice”. Then Jenna had the knife and was handling it wrong. These actors don’t cook, or even watch Food TV. Tyler Florence should give a kitchen strategies for actors class.

At least it looks like Mayo went down with a lap dance

EC: Let’s just dive in to the saddest part. RIP, Uncle Mason. You left us far to soon. We do now know that Wolf’s bane looks like it’s burning off your mouth and Damon ripping out your heart, will in fact kill you. Damon, how could you! * sniff, sniff * I haven’t been this mad at you Kevin Williamson, since the first time you broke up Joey and Pacey on Dawson’s Creek. No fair. That and you left Tyler alive. Really?
SWD: This mad me sadder than when Christie Brinkley and Billy Joel broke up.

EC: At least, we ended the episode on a cliffhanger…Katherine is going to use Matt to sacrifice himself to turn Tyler into a werewolf? Whoa…Nope. I still would have traded Tyler for Mason any day. Are you as sad as we are about the untimely demise of Uncle Mason? Are you excited about the Masquerade Ball? Let us know!
SWD: *Side note * How about that “Cosmopolitan Hotel” commercial?! They advertised it well to the hedonistic, debauchery loving crowd that watches these shows! Let’s go!
EC: Wait…I didn’t see that commercial! All I got was those ETrade Babies, East Coast fail!

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11 Responses to “Vampire Diaries Recap: Not the Eye Candy, Kevin Williamson!”

  1. I like to call Whiny the Vampire Slayer the Hot Younger Brother. Maybe that’s just me. The actor is older than Nina anyway, so I feel zero weirdness in liking him. 😉

  2. I didn’t see that commercial either! Though I did DVR/Fast Forward through the commercials. Anyway, I completely forgot there was a party in the episode until reading this. I was a little too upset at the end of things and just deleted it. I mean, I will admit this, as sad as losing the new candy was, there was something extraordinarily hot about Damon ripping out his heart. Is it normal that I find everything and anything Damon does excessively attractive? Hm. I think it’s normal. Besides, we got our Mason sex scene, so the ole Kev did at least cover that base.

    • snowwhitedrifted Says:

      True, Mayo did go out with a “bang”.
      I agree about the heart thing. It reminded me that he’s got supe powers. Also, heart ripping scenes have been interesting ever since “Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom”.

  3. Twi Mom(not like on O) Says:

    I have decided that Nina is the luckest actress in the world. Damon, Mason, Damon, Stephan, Damon. Did I mention Damon? TS you are not wrong to think everything Damon does is hot. Although I admitt that back in the day Damon is not as good as jaded and pissed off Damon. When did Whiny get so buff? I felt so bad for Caroline, it took her turning to get she and her Mom to start getting along and then she had to make Mom still think of her as a selfish brat kid.

    • snowwhitedrifted Says:

      Whiny is buffer, isn’t he?!
      Agreed, Demon Damon = win!

    • He got buffer at the close of last season. Maybe he shot a New Moon parody over the summer and he played Jacob? Anyway, I’ve added him to the list of eye candy. Which really is continuous. I mean, post-Mason someone will have to replace him. ESPECIALLY if Matt dies too. There’s no way they can kill 2 males and not bring on 1 new one. Maybe Jeremy will discover his true self when the hot new piece arrives in town? The Gilbert tradition will continue when said new piece is a vampire. Maybe another ex of Katherine’s who happens to wanna tap Jere? I can support this plotline. After all, it’s hardly a Kevin Williamson show without a Jack McPhee/Doug Witter sideplot!

      And I would like to also point out that his hate for all things vampire, Uncle John did bone a vampire AND try to help another out. And he can’t stand the sight of Stefan? What a hypocrite. (please bring him back, not as the gay lover obv.)

      OMG.
      OMG.
      OMG.

      Jeremy and Stefan?!

      Okay, need to stop commenting now…

  4. 3hboyshouse Says:

    You guys have a blog! This is awesome. I am sorry I am so behind the times! Why did I have 4 kids? They have been taking up my precious blog reading time and I plan to make them fend for themselves from now on because I must now read your awesome blog. Now I am off to read all your previous posts!

    • Hey There 3h! Glad to have you, welcome!
      Yes, just get the costco size box of goldfish set up in front of the kiddos, slap on a Phinneas and Ferb episode and read our ramblings 😉
      -SWD

  5. I love Damon but I want Elena to be with Stefan, because they just belong together (or at least for me). And yes even thought Elena and Damon have some chemistry I just can´t see them dating..it would be wierd for all of them. I always have thought of them like about two people who care for each other.Damon never really cares about anyone since Katherine and now he´s becoming better person, he´s starting to care about people and he deserve someone who really loves him not his brother girfriend.

  6. Hi just thought i would tell you something.. This is twice now i?ve landed on your blog in the last 3 weeks looking for completely unrelated things. Great Info! Keep up the good work.

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