He’s With HER!!!

posted by EastCoastStacey

Vampire Diaries Recap Epi 5: “Kill Or Be Killed”

*Hey People, It’s Spoiler Time! *

 

A new Heroine hijacks the show. Stacey's approve

 

Last week, we had the trinity of hotness fighting it out on an epic battle of Pictionary. Oh and Stefan, being King Emo of S&M. This week, was absolute craziness in comparison. There was also hotness, but once again no shirtless ness. I will admit by calling for the loss of shirts is sexist, but I will say that sometimes a girl needs to see abs. It’s payback for the many years my sisters and I were oppressed and forced to wear pearls and make pot roasts for our men. Let’s dig in a little deeper and break down the happenings of Mystic Falls.

EC: Sweet Uncle Mason isn’t a murderer! It was all an accident. I knew a face that pretty couldn’t be a bad guy. Alright he sold out the Salvatore Brothers, but Damon did want to kill him. So that makes sense…wait a darn minute…he and… will pick this up later.
SWD: 2 Unbelieveable points in this scene. 1) Mayo leaving the bar alone (yeah right). 2) “Jimmy’s” Jasper-in-New_Moon wig didn’t fly off during the fight.

EC: Once again…public events in Mystic Falls are never a good idea. The lame “breakup” between Stefan and Elena. I saw right through you two. Kept smoldering at each other with their eyes. I can see Caroline falling for it, but Damon? Never mind, when you want to ‘hit’ something so badly, I suppose you can believe anything. Funny Damon line, “Relationships are about communication.”
SWD: Elena is pretty good at faux fighting, girls got some angst.

 

Hey Bro, don't drink the stew-laid...er I mean lemonade

 

EC:Now see what happens, Damon…even the lemonade is off. Well just for you, Stefan and Caroline. Handsome boy, you just got PLAYED by the sheriff. Took the snarky off your face for a minute. I miss it, but sometimes it’s funny to see you confused.
SWD: I liked the sheriff’s line “But you’re my friend” Sounds like Snow Jr’s preschool tone. Except here “friend” = potential cougar bait eff buddy.

EC: There was a whole lot of Whiny the Vamp Slayer and Pissy in this show. While I get all excited when the hot trilogy shows up, this dud duo makes my remote control finger all itchy for the fast forward button. If only they can become more three-dimensional…wait for it…maybe…nope. Even when drunk slutty girl fell down the stairs, I was hoping for some excitement and dimension, but nada. AND… We didn’t have any Alaric or Bonnie action in this episode! Ugh.
SWD: I laughed at whiny showing Pissy his wolf-y drawrings. If I were one of those girls, and “Simon” showed me his wolf-y drawrings, I’d be on that. I’m a sucker for a dude that draws charcoal fangs.

 

Moonstones or A cups?

 

SWD: The beloved Moonstone is starting to look like a small breast implant. Maybe that is why Tyler is always fondling it.. or why Mayo wants it so badly, maybe he’s in need of some, “stones”? Nahhhh.

EC: My god, they shot up the Brothers Salvatore. I was sad, but also relieved that they didn’t kill sweet Uncle Mayo. He is really messing with my Damon love. Making me feel all conflicted. Oh… and poor Stefan.

EC: Caroline has become magic to me. Now that they are only giving us a little bit of Bonnie, we need another female lead to root for. Wait…Elena…right…she’s the lead. I’ll try to remember that. Let’s get back to Caroline…she redeemed herself in so many ways. She beat up handsome Mayo.

 

These Loubes weren't made for walking

 

EC:(Ugh…conflicted again) Killed a bunch of cops. Not cool, but she did it to save Damon and Stefan. Alright I’ll forgive her this time. The sadness Caroline felt by her mother’s dismissal of her. I was impressed.

SWD:I liked her boots when she was kinckin wolf-y’s arse. Fierce footwear always wins me over.

SWD: Did you notice, when she was pouting on the sofa, Talbot’s jar was in the foreground! How thoughtful, Sookie sent the Salvatore’s Talbot’s Jar. I thought they’d use it for the martini olives or an ashtray at Fangtasia… but no the Salvatore’s got a new knicknack.

 

Now found on the Salvatore mantle

 

 

 

Hi mom, I just drained your staff... that doesn't sound right

 

SWD: Back to Caroline, saying “Hi Mom”. That the tone you use when your mom catches you doing body shots off your math teacher… or something.
EC: Damon is falling off the wagon… There should be BA instead of AA for vamps. Aww…Elena is pulling a Sookie and offering herself as dinner. That’s sweet and gross.
SWD: She tapped the keg, so to speak. But her hand? C’mon Elena, I’ve had palm cuts, they hurt. Offer a thigh

EC: No way! My Uncle Mayo and Katherine! Which is kind of cool, but still Uncle Mayo and Katherine!!!
SWD: H(owl)alleluigh, Mayo is a Bad Guy!!!! Hooooowwwwwllllll!!!!

Stop, or my deputy will shoot!
Tell us what you thought of the BIG reveal! What are you going to do with no new episode next week? Catch up on Community and 30 Rock?
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